I Miss You Mommy <3

I Miss You Mommy <3

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Although my mom didn’t suffer from it, it’s a month that rings close to home because she lost her battle to non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma a few years ago.

Yesterday, as I drove by the Jewish General Hospital, I went back to the day she left us & I felt like I was reliving the same pain I did in the last few minutes of her life. My heart broke all over again.

I usually make it a point to take a different route & avoid driving by because I know it hurts.

But yesterday, it completely slipped my mind.

It’s crazy how certain places trigger different emotions in us based on experiences. This same hospital may trigger feelings of euphoria in someone who saw their mom go through a successful surgery that saved her life or wife give birth to their 1st child. But for me, it’s a reminder of the loss of the most precious person in my life.

Memories come rushing back, some good, some bad. I think of the time we brought her Milos lamb chops because she had a craving, the pearl necklace she never took off even during chemotherapy treatments, eating vanilla ice cream out of the tub & the day she got a mani/pedi in her bed, but also the ICU scares, days she needed an oxygen mask, sleepless nights, disappointing blood test/scan results & the desperation we felt everyday.

1/8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Think about how scary that is. Life is so precious & moments like this remind me why it’s so important to appreciate the people you love, spend time with them, hug & tell them you love them & be kind because you never know what anyone is going through.

Losing a parent is horrible & I don’t think the pain ever goes away; you just learn to live with it. I miss her today just as much as I did 3, 2 & 1 year ago.

Nothing I say will bring her back but it helps to talk about it.

Although I’m generally smiling, life isn’t easy for any of us.

It’s a constant journey & some things will always hurt just the same, no matter how much time passes. Always remember: it’s okay to be sad & to cry.

Even though everyone’s journey is different, one thing holds true: there’s so much to love about life, even if just being alive & healthy.


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