How crazy is it that I used to be able to count the foods I let myself eat on one hand?
How crazy is it that my drinks, meals & snacks were to be had at specific times & those times only. No sooner, no later?
How crazy is it that I relied entirely on my ability to make sure I respected these “rules” to feel in control & to be HAPPY?
Yes, that’s right. I relied on food restriction to give me a false sense of what I thought was happiness.
When I took recovery into my own hands, I was SO scared.
I lost my ability to listen to hunger & fullness cues because I ate on a schedule & not when I felt hungry.
I was afraid of what my “new” life would entail; I questioned how I’d find happiness & a sense of control over something other than food. I was roadblocked, stuck between a rock & a hard place because I didn’t have the answers, yet I had to keep moving forward, despite the uncertainty.
It was really hard. But you know what?
Recovery teaches you a lot about yourself & but also, that there are other things in life that can bring peace of mind & joy, other than the control over what goes into your body.
Today, I’m proud to say I can’t even count those things on my 2 hands & feet. Yes, there’s that much to look forward to about life post-recovery & other things can make you REALLY TRULY GENUINELY happy.
What are some of the things that make me happy?
- My family & friends
- The community we continue to build together on this platform & the opportunity to share my story & be a voice in a society where mental illness is so stigmatized
- Health, wellness, nutrition
- Helping others feel their best
- Waking up everyday & doing what I am passionate about
- Writing, reading & blogging
- Knowing that we can all relate to some degree, despite differences in our experiences
- Cooking & baking
- BEING ALIVE
What makes you happy?