On Yom Kippur, we ask G-d to forgive us for any sins we may have committed this year.
We open our hearts & forgive those closest to us for any harm they may have caused us & we ask them for forgiveness too.
Amidst the two-sided forgiveness, let us not forget to forgive OURSELVES.
This year, I forgive myself for anything I’ve done to hurt my body & mind.
I forgive myself for the negative self-talk, the days I judged myself too harshly or was overly self-critical.
I forgive myself for the days I ate too little or too much & used food to numb my pain.
I forgive myself for letting eating disordered thoughts permeate my mind, for giving in to them sometimes & wishing I could have the “comfort” of my ED again.
I forgive myself for my divorce & for letting it make me feel like an inadequate life partner.
I forgive myself for the days I should’ve allowed my body to rest but felt the need to keep moving & gave in.
I forgive myself for the days I spent hating myself for my experiences.
I forgive myself for all the times I didn’t love myself enough.
Today, I stand tall & forgive myself because I can.
Because “there is no love without forgiveness & there is no forgiveness without love”.
Despite everything I could’ve done better this year & all the ways in which I could’ve cared for my body & mind a little more, I worked hard to strengthen my relationship with myself & get to a place where I wake up more often than not feeling positive & loving myself wholeheartedly, irrespective of my appearance.
While I haven’t done a perfect job & I still have ups & downs, I’ve come a long way & I know, trust, understand, believe in & love myself more than I ever have in my entire life. That’s a lot more than I can say for myself at rock bottom.
So here’s to a fresh start, another year long opportunity to continue to do good for others, open my heart, share my story, help you live your best lives possible & amidst all of that, to not lose sight of myself, put myself first when I have to & continue building my self-love because you can’t fully love anyone else until you genuinely love yourself.