I used to get so frustrated + mad at myself if I craved fats.
I would tell myself all kinds of lies about how eating two almonds or more than 2 tbsp. of avocado would make me “fat”.
The more + more I fed my mind with those lies, the more it believed + trusted me, the more my behaviours changed + the more they became disordered.
I remember weighing avocado chunks on a food scale + taking pieces away until the scale matched the portion I logged on my food log.
I recall weighing POWDERED PEANUT BUTTER before mixing it with water to create FAKE unnatural peanut butter to cut on NECESSARY healthy fats.
I remember throwing out FULL salads because I accidentally drizzled on “too much” olive oil.
I remember telling my nutritionist I ate a handful of almonds as a snack, knowing she could probably read right through my lie. But I lied anyway to pretend I was on track.
These memories are SO vivid in my mind yet it seems like they happened so long ago.
But it’s really only been a year or 2 since I realized the POWER of my mind + the thoughts I feed it.
It’s been just a few years since I realized that fats won’t make me fat.
That my body needs them to preserve + maintain the health of my organs, produce + regulate hormones, keep my skin hydrated + moisturized, energize me + to hold my body together by strengthening cell membranes + nerves.
I finally realized that measurements don’t matter.
That I don’t need a battery operated device to tell me it’s OK to eat a certain quantity of food or a food log to which I enslave myself.
I can eat a 1/2 or whole avocado if I want to & I can eat REAL peanut butter if that’s what my body wants.
I can add whatever I want to my salad dressing.
I don’t need to be afraid of almonds or lie about eating them.
When I began to feed my mind with positive thoughts about fats, I began to see them in a positive light. My whole perspective changed + it opened my eyes: I don’t need to have a disordered relationship with food or my body IF I let myself regain that control through my thoughts.
You can do it too.