When the going gets rough
When you feel like you’re crumbling
When you lose hope
When you want to give up because it’s so damn hard & giving in is easy
When your eating disorder tries to creep up on you
When you’re weight restored & you begin to second guess recovery
When you feel lost, confused or lacking control
When any & all of the above happens to you (& there’s no denying it will because recovery is NOT easy & it is NOT linear)…
I want you to take a step back & remind yourself WHY you chose recovery in the first place
I want you to think of the life you left behind & remind yourself why you don’t want to go back to it.
You made a conscious decision to leave your eating disorder behind & there were reasons for it. Hold on to them. Tight.
Maybe it was because you felt physically + emotionally weak.
Or because you felt so mentally drained by all the thoughts your ED was feeding you that you decided to take the upper hand
Or because you wanted to be the “old” you who actually loved & lived life
Or because your ED took everything you loved (people, feelings, hobbies + passions) away from you & you got fed up of being alone & miserable
Or because your ED made you forget what it felt like to be alive
We all have our reasons but one thing holds true: we all chose recovery because WE CHOOSE LIFE
I chose recovery & pursued it because I couldn’t bear the thought of living another day as the girl on the left.
I was living but I wasn’t alive. I woke up everyday to go through to motions & to be enslaved by my anorexia, every waking minute.
Until I finally realized that life is too precious & far too short to hand the power to dominate + control it to an illness.
Your recovery is in your hands. You’re mentally & physically strong enough to pursue & attain it. Much more than you think.
It’s not so much about not being strong enough; you just have to want it MORE than what you’re leaving behind. And then you have to go after what you want.
Chase it. Until it’s yours.