Today was one of those days I often try to describe in my posts, the ones where the anxiety hits so hard, it takes over my entire being & consumes me, sometimes for minutes or hours at a time.
Today, I had an anxiety attack.
I know I don’t owe it to anyone to share & publicize it. I could very well pretend it never happened & go about sharing the other 20-something calmer & happier hours of my day. But that would be me showing you half the story & hiding an aspect of my life that’s just that: an aspect of MY life & a part of ME.
My goal isn’t to describe how intense or painful the attack was nor is it to break down what triggered it. It’s rather to show you that life isn’t black or white. Life is somewhere in between. There are really peaceful “white” moments, horrible “black” ones & lots of up & down rollercoaster “grey” ones.
Social media can be misleading. My day started off great. I slept in a bit later than usual, woke up feeling great, had a productive morning meal prepping, managed to fit in a workout & then BAM… my day took a turn for the worse.
The anxiety attack happened & then it hit me… I openly shared the start of my day & then I disappeared for a few hours not because I took a social media detox but because I lived through something not as pretty as the pictures of the nutritious meals I prep & not as educational as the posts I share daily & that we, as a society, aren’t usually as eager & excited to share.
But here’s the thing, we spend hours a day scrolling through beautiful edited photos on our feed (& we’re all guilty of it) & overtime, our minds are subconsciously wired to believe that what we see is REAL LIFE & it is, in part. The thing is, it’s a highlight reel of the moments we deem worthy of a post. More often than not, we see beautiful photos but we seldom get to see what goes on in the minds of the people behind those photos.
So here’s my “behind the scenes”: in bed on a Sunday after an anxiety attack taking time to process, understand & overcome what I went through. It happens to the best of us.
I want you to know that whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone.