My anxiety has been worse than usual lately. I won’t lie. I don’t think it’s fair to tell you I suffer from anxiety & to share my coping mechanisms without showing you the “uglier” side of what it entails in the first place.
Anyone who suffers from anxiety will tell you one common thing: it isn’t fun. But, the intensity & way it’s felt or experienced by everyone is different.
I can go days without really feeling it’s there, save for a few moments here & there but then, I get a week where it hits me REALLY hard to the point where I feel jittery, a constant need to be moving that’s so intense that when I sit down to chill, my heart races.
Sometimes, it’s so bad, it feels like I’m being choked up, like I’m drowning & struggling to come up for air or stuck in an elevator that just won’t open with 20 people.
Other times, it wakes me up in the middle of the night in sweats & heart palpitations.
Sometimes, it’s this feeling of paranoia that everyone & everything is working against me.
And other days, it gets so hard that I feel like giving up. But I don’t.
Giving up means I put up a white flag & surrender to my anxiety & that I concede to the fact that it’s more powerful than me. AND IT ISN’T.
Although all those feelings, reactions & behaviours suck & hurt like hell, they aren’t enough for me to fail to see my worth as a person, no matter what how much others believe my anxiety exists or understand it & no matter how much of a toll it takes on me mentally.
They always say to be the bigger person in life & that doesn’t only apply to physical relationships with others. It applies most importantly to your relationship with yourself & with your MIND.
You have so much to live for & so much going for you. Your anxiety shouldn’t have the power to take that away from you.
Being aware that it’s there is one thing, but being able to take that awareness, to translate it into something positive & to use it to find ways to cope & be bigger than your anxiety is MOST conducive to your mental well-being. YOUR mind is YOUR tool. Use it to your advantage, not your detriment.
You can do this. We’re in it together & we truly are stronger than we know.