REAL TALK: I’ve been having highs & lows with recovery lately.
I still believe recovery is one of the best things that ever happened to me & I still believe in it wholeheartedly. Truth is, I wouldn’t be here today without it.
Although I’ve always known it, lately, I’ve really been feeling that recovery truly is a rollercoaster. The ups & downs don’t ever really end; they become less frequent & I become stronger as I overcome every low & conquer every high. But, it doesn’t change the fact that over a year later, my recovery still isn’t linear.
Knowing & feeling are two different things. Our minds are filled with so much knowledge about what’s right & wrong. But that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes, no matter how much we know we should fight a feeling because it’s wrong or self-destructive, it’s something we just can’t shake.
I think the most important thing when it comes to shaking it & to preserving our mental health is SELF-AWARENESS.
Real self-awareness can only happen when you’re in tune with your body, mind & thoughts & when you’re able to acknowledge & admit that your thoughts play a huge role in the way you act. Once you’re self-aware, it becomes more feasible to take matters into your own hands & to make a change.
So here I am, AWARE that my recovery journey is ongoing & that the past few weeks have been more full of lows than I would like & because I’m AWARE, here I am READY to fight harder & stronger than yesterday.
Yes, it gets tiring to have to fight everyday & I’d love to just wake up & have absolutely nothing to worry about. Who wouldn’t, right? But this is real life & after years of repressing it, now, I face it. I know my cards have been dealt this way for a reason & in pursuit of that reason, I stand tall knowing that one day, my strength will lead me right where I should be.
If you’re struggling, know that I’m right there with you. I believe in you. But most importantly, have faith in yourself & trust that you’re struggling right now to build a better, brighter & wiser tomorrow.