July 4, 2017 – April 1, 2018
This transformation isn’t about how much better or worse I look in either photo, how one of the two should or shouldn’t be your goal or how capable or incapable I was to get through a workout at either point in my life.
I’m by no means the strongest or most fit person in the world today nor was I back then & I’m not here to insinuate that.
This transformation goes far beyond what you actually see in the photos & it’s simply to show you that facing your fears & anxieties has the power to open the door to PROGRESS.
In the past year, I faced many fears:
- the fear of gaining weight, of eating foods that I didn’t deem “safe”
- the fear of having to buy new clothes because I couldn’t fit into my old ones
- the fear of re-experiencing what life is like without my eating disorder
- the fear of relapse
- the fear of letting go of my scale
- the fear of starting to work out
- the fear of letting go of the comfort & control my ED once provided me with.
All these fears are different, but the one thing they have in common is the feeling that I’d never be able to overcome them & that I’d live with them forever.
Fear is a horrible feeling & one that’s always there, messing with your mind.
It comes back to haunt you every time you try to fight or face it & that’s what makes it so hard to break.
Fear isn’t bulletproof. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO BREAK IT & the best way to do that is to justify facing it by what living without it will bring to your life: PROGRESS.
Progress isn’t perfection. Progress just means a step forward, advancement, sometimes big, sometimes small, but a step forward nonetheless.
Today, 9 months after facing some of my fears, I made progress & I’m also at a place in my life where I don’t feel like I need perfection in order to say I’ve progressed & that’s a lot more than I can say for the girl on the left.
My message to you is that I know how hard it is to face your fears but I also know how beautiful life is once you do.
The beauty of life WITHOUT your fears weighing you down & getting in the way of your ambition is far more worthwhile than a comfort zone or security blanket.