How crazy is it that our bodies can look so different from one day to the next, let alone from one hour to the next?
I know it & you do too.
But why is knowing it not enough to stop weighing ourselves?
To stop letting our worth be determined by a number reflected on an electronic device?
Why do we preoccupy ourselves with weight fluctuations when we know they’re NORMAL?
Because we’ve been taught to equate our worth with VALUES instead of VALUING ourselves & our inner beauty & equating our worth with that.
Exercise, eating, drinking, hormones, stress & bathroom habits impact our body’s water composition & weight.
- Some foods cause water retention.
- Exercise can lead to temporary water or weight loss.
- Hormones may cause bloating or discomfort.
These things happen because we’re HUMAN.
Whenever people ask me about my recovery, I always tell them that the best decision I ever made was getting rid of my scale. I mean it.
Getting rid of it allowed me to stop letting daily weight fluctuations impact my mood.
It taught me to focus more on how I FELT than how LIGHT or HEAVY I was.
TBH, there were days I would go on the scale & be lighter than the day before but I felt SHITTIER than ever: My heart was broken, I felt alone, hopeless, angry, frustrated & feared for my life.
So what good did that lower number serve? NONE AT ALL.
Those days helped me realize that it wasn’t the number per se determining my self-worth but rather my ED telling me that the number made me worthless. I believed her & so, that’s what I preached.
Here you’ve got four pictures of me: two from yesterday & two from the day before yesterday. I look different in every one & I also feel different.
Months ago, I’d have crumbled & cried at the sight of these pictures because I’m no longer skeletal or frail & there’s no more darkness in my eyes.
I’m curvy & strong & there’s a glimmer of light in my eyes.
How I look today is a reflection of how I feel.
I feel FREE.
Free of my scale.
Free of my demons.
Free of ED.
I feel free because I determine, know & see my worth.
My weight will fluctuate, my body will change. But MY MINDSET WON’T so long as I fight.
You can too. I believe in you.