Post-workout MOOD: Feeling on top of the WORLD.
I get through workouts almost everyday, right?
But it ALWAYS amazes me when I’m able to get through two in a row.
I think it’s pretty amazing for anyone to be able to do that, but what amazes me so much is the transformation: where I come from & where I am now.
It’s terrifying but it’s also my pride & joy.
Our bodies were put on this earth to be used, move, sustain us & be our haven. When you put things into perspective, they really are our sole means of survival.
Without them, we have soul & spirit. But no where for that soul & spirit to live or grow.
In the depths of my anorexia, this is something I knew but chose to disregard as I knew I was doing my body harm but I also didn’t know how to stop.
I also didn’t know what stopping would entail:
- Would I like my life post-recovery more than I loved it when ED was full-fledged?
- Would I hate the way I look post-weight gain?
- Would I be happier in recovery?
- Would I miss my ED?
- Would I feel alone without her?
The uncertainties made it hard for me to choose recovery because life with ED was COMFORTABLE.
But had I never stepped out of comfort, I wouldn’t be shaking my booty in front of a mirror after two intense workouts because I never would’ve allowed myself to get here. I may not have even been here at all. That’s why I’m so amazed, not only at the physical strength I gained over the course of the past (almost) year, but moreso at the power of the human mind & its ability to change your life.
People say “It’s all in the mind”. Sounds cliché.
But it’s so true: Mindset is everything.
I’m here today because I taught my mind that the uncertainties of what recovery would entail were a reasonable price to pay & a worthwhile risk if those same uncertainties meant I’d be able to envision an eventual life without my illness.
Life in & of itself is UNCERTAIN.
You can’t possibly know, have, understand or control everything.
Come to terms with that.
The only thing standing in the way of your dreams & fuelling your fears is YOU
I realized nothing in the world was worth more than me living my dreams.
So here I am, LIVING THEM.