I’m always telling you guys how hard & challenging recovery is & it’s true. It is. There’s no hiding it.
But, the truth is, recovery isn’t all bad body image days. Not everyday in recovery is hard. Not everyday is a struggle. Some days are really good. Some days are easier than others. Some days are even amazing. Some days aren’t challenging. Some days, I wake up & love every inch of my body, all the curves, squish & jiggle!
On those days, I’m EVEN MORE thankful for having chosen recovery. I’m thankful on the bad days too but on the bad days, I have to work harder to fight the voices, triggers & negative emotions. On the good days, I celebrate the fact that I don’t have to fight the negativity & triggers as hard.
My body & my mind are strong enough to subconsciously fight them for me.
I want you guys to take this message for what it is: Choosing recovery doesn’t mean that everyday is a struggle. It doesn’t mean that you’re going to go through hell all the time. Some days, you will. I’m not going to sugar coat it. Some days, you’ll have to fight & go through hell so hard that you’ll have no more fight, fire or life in you.
But recovery isn’t only about that.
Recovery is also about rediscovering yourself, embracing change, overcoming hardship, loving your new self & waking up freaking happy. It’s about literally slamming the door in ED’s face, finding your purpose & having ambition & goals. It’s about filling the void & reclaiming everything your eating disorder took away from you.
When you are given all those gifts & find your true purpose, when you value your life THIS MUCH, the bad days get easier.
I can’t even count the amount of bad days I had in the beginning. Sometimes, the bad days made me wonder whether recovery was worth it or better than my illness altogether.
But sometimes, you have to go through hell to know happiness & realize just how valuable life is.
Today, I woke up feeling amazing.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I don’t know how I’ll feel & that’s okay.
I’m living today & I’m thankful for it.
Don’t take life for granted.
Live & take every moment for what it is.
You can’t control tomorrow.
Don’t try to.