We are all guilty of it.
We talk about the changes in our appearance throughout recovery.
We talk about how our bones no longer show, our thighs are thicker, our clothes fit us a bit tighter, our lady parts are back, our arms are no longer frail & limpy & our faces are fuller, cheeks are chubbier & no longer pale & gaunt.
We talk about how we’re more than just our physical appearance, yet we still focus on our bodies.
We focus on them getting bigger & stronger.
We focus on weight gain.
Bigger boobs. Clothes that don’t fit anymore. Bloating.
We show transformation photos & talk about how thankful we are for recovery & how great it feels. YET WE STILL FOCUS ON OUR BODILY TRANSFORMATIONS.
We compare a photo of our “rock bottom” in the depths of ED to one of our “highest high” in recovery.
I’m not disregarding mine or anybody’s physical transformation because the accomplishment speaks wonders about my (& your) strength.
But guess what? I’m guilty of all this too.
Comparing my body today to my body & the way it looks to yesterday, four months ago or an hour ago.
As human beings, we focus on what we can SEE.
But why don’t we focus on the SOUL TRANSFORMATION?
The one we CAN’T SEE, the one that’s the driving force that permits us to accomplish the physical one in the first place?
If you go through recovery, you will surely notice a change in your heart, mind, soul, mood & desire for life.
Why don’t we highlight that part?
Without those changes, the physical ones don’t exist.
Everyone preaches recovery isn’t JUST about weight gain, yet that’s the only transformation we ever seem to see.
SO HERE’S A FREAKING SOUL TRANSFORMATION.
The first few photos are me, fighting for my life, stranded by ED, smiling, but crying & dying on the inside.
The last few are me, a survivor recovering, smiling, enjoying life & beaming with joy.
Sure, my boobs grew, my butt rounded, my thighs thickened, my arms are stronger & my face is fuller.
But so is my SMILE. My HEART has grown. My LOVE for life has EXPANDED so much further than my waist ever could.
More than anything in this world, recovery is about MENTAL GAINS.
It’s about more than a number on a scale, going up a jeans size or no longer having a thigh gap.