When I embarked on this journey to recover from my eating disorder, there were days where I would find myself questioning why it was taking longer than I wanted.
Why I couldn’t just snap out of the disordered mental & emotional mess I found myself in.
Why recovery wasn’t something I could attain instantly.
Why it required so much work when I’d already suffered so much.
Why I couldn’t literally just wake up one morning & be recovered.
Those days were hard & made me question my choice to recover entirely.
I wondered what the point was when progress seemed so little & my ultimate goal seemed so far out of reach.
But like anything that’s worth fighting for in life, recovery requires hard work, dedication & patience.
Overtime, I realized that although I wasn’t there yet, I was closer than I was yesterday.
Every day that I woke up & chose recovery all over again was a day I woke up & didn’t relapse. That’s what kept me going.
Taking on a challenge like recovery requires a positive mind & attitude. It’s easy to get down on yourself, to let all the negative emotions & lack of progress take the stand & fail to acknowledge the baby steps & the potential & beauty in the life that awaits you post-recovery.
But truth is, that’s what you have to do.
You have to fight what’s trying to bring you down & acknowledge that the choice you made to recover in the first place is probably one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever make. But it’s also the most rewarding.
You can & will reap all the rewards that come with it so long as you LET YOURSELF.
As someone who suffered from ED, I know how easy it is to set ridiculously high unrealistic & unhealthy standards for yourself.
But, the goal in recovery is to let go of that tendency.
To be able to live a carefree, beautiful & spontaneous life, where true happiness takes precedence over standards.
Where standards still exist but they’re manageable, attainable, realistic & healthy.
You’re worth so much more than a standard or a norm. Don’t let it kill you.
Nobody has greater control over your life & your being than you.
You have the power to turn it around, but in having that power, you must also know it won’t happen instantly.
& that’s what makes it THAT MUCH MORE REWARDING.
