When Oysters, Salmon Tartare, Wine & Yes, Even Brownies Remind You Why You Chose Life.
Nights out like these remind me why I chose recovery.
They remind me why I chose LIFE.
They remind me what it means TO LIVE.
They remind me that this is the life I COULD & WILL always have, so long as I persevere & continue to fight my demons, if & whenever they decide to make an appearance.
They remind me what it means to go out, laugh, smile & really enjoy myself.
To not be sitting in a restaurant with severe anxiety, disordered thoughts & a wandering mind questioning why everyone else around me is allowed to be happy but me.
To eat what I want, at whatever time I want & without being the girl who modifies every item on the menu to satisfy ED.
They remind me that LIFE WITHOUT ED IS REAL LIFE.
It’s real for me RIGHT NOW & it can be for you too.
You have to want it & you need to take that desire, look it right in the eyes & let it give you the strength to fight for it.
Instead of thinking of what you’re leaving behind as you abandon ED, THINK OF EVERYTHING YOU WILL GAIN FROM IT.
Think of all the beauty you will come to see & experience.
All of this beauty has always been yours, can be yours today & will always be.
ED just doesn’t want you to know or see that.
And when someone or something stops you from knowledge or sight… what do you do?
YOU FIGHT WITH EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY TO GET THOSE THINGS BACK.
Last night, I drank white wine.
I ate these oysters.
I also ate fish tacos, salmon tartare & shared a brownie that most definitely was NOT made with black beans or healthy sugar alternatives (& it was even topped with FULL OUT DAIRY VANILLA ICE CREAM).
I enjoyed every single bite.
You can & will get to that point too.
This didn’t happen overnight or in the blink of an eye.
It took a heck of a lot of hard work & dedication.
But it was worth EVERYTHING.
Know that THIS, this is the light at the end of the tunnel.
THIS IS REAL LIFE.
These are the small things that you could have & that are begging to be a part of your life again.
LET THEM IN.