This Year, Fall Gives Me All The WARM Feels!
Now that the weather is getting colder, it’s time to bust out the blanket scarves, cable knits, cute sweats, thick socks & oversized wool sweaters.
This makes me happy cause fall is my fave season.
But, let’s go back in time eight months.
Whether it was fall, winter or spring, sweats, scarves, knits, sweaters & socks were my regular attire. My uniform, to say the least.
The cold weather just meant I had to layer them a bit more. Yes, literally layer them.
My favourite season turned into the time of year I dreaded most.
Morning, afternoon or night, no matter where I was, no matter how many layers I put on to cover my bony & frail body, I permanently had the shivers.
The only way I could fall asleep was if my standing heater was placed directly in my vicinity & please don’t get me started about how I’d gear myself up to brave the snow.
I remember being so cold that whether or not I’d leave my house felt like a life-altering decision.
What a difference eight months can make.
I went from having a skeletal & tiny frame, a malnourished body & little to no body fat to having a full, curvy & feminine frame, a healthy, very well-nourished body & more muscular strength (& no idea how much body fat) than I ever thought possible.
I know my new body will sustain me this fall & winter & I’ll get to enjoy my fave time of the year.
I’ll brave the snowstorms just fine, like any other regular Montreal girl.
I’ll still wear my cute scarves, knits, sweats, socks & sweaters, only this time; I’ll wear them without floating & without having to layer them.
I’ll wear them because they’re warm, but not because without them, I’ll go into hypothermia.
I won’t need a standing heater to feel comfortable enough to fall asleep.
I’ll leave my house whenever I have to, without thinking twice about it & without having to contemplate whether my outing is worth the freeze.
Here I am, talking about fall fashion but relating it to my ED.
This just goes to show you how much ED destroyed me & what an impact it had on EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF MY LIFE, from my loss of control over my mind, to the starvation & deprivation, the obsession, isolation, the heart palpitations & fainting spells & YES, EVEN MY CLOTHING.
So when I tell you that ED isn’t worth any of that pain, I mean it. I mean it WITH EVERY WARM BONE IN MY BODY.