Transformation Tuesdays: Why You Can’t Have The Best Of Both Worlds In Recovery.
Why can’t you have the best of both worlds in recovery?
BECAUSE YOU CAN’T BE THE GIRL ON THE LEFT & THE GIRL ON THE RIGHT AT THE SAME TIME.
• You can’t feed something that wants to kill you all while fighting to get your life back.
• You can’t worship numbers, measurements & weight all while forgoing scales & body checking.
• You can’t be a slave to the things that hold you down all while trying to break free of those same slave-driving things.
• You can’t remain the same all while craving change.
• You can’t surrender your mind, heart & soul to an illness all while striving to heal & regain control over your actions & emotions.
• You can’t hate yourself but love yourself at the same time.
• You can’t deprive, starve & neglect your body all while begging it to sustain you & keep you alive & healthy.
• You can’t engage in disordered behaviours, fuel negative emotions & anxieties all while trying to recover, embrace positivity & cope with those anxieties.
• YOU CANNOT LOVE ANOREXIA BUT HATE HER AT THE SAME TIME.
Recovery is a choice & very rarely when we make a choice do we get the best of both worlds.
That’s one of the reasons why choice exists in the first place & the reason why making a choice is often the most difficult (& sometimes, even scary) thing in the world.
Making a choice means leaving the alternative behind, even when you feel that the alternative is all you want to cling to.
BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LET GO.
The girl on the left LET GO of anorexia in order to BECOME the girl on the right.
Letting go isn’t easy BUT IT’S REWARDING.
The girl on the left took:
Reward over ease.
Success over comfort.
LIFE & HEALTH OVER ILLNESS.
HAPPINESS OVER DESPAIR.
At rock bottom, she finally realized that what she had been clinging onto was NOT A LIFE.
It wasn’t where she wanted to stay.
SHE WANTED A TRANSFORMATION & a transformation she got.
But she worked hard because in life, we don’t always get what we want.
We can’t always have our cake & eat it too (no pun intended).
Sometimes, we have to choose one world over the other.
We can’t have it all.
Sometimes, in choosing one over the other, we come to realize that we NEVER REALLY WANTED THE FIRST ONE ANYWAY.