NEW Year. NEW Beginnings. NEW Me. <3
Today is Rosh Hashanah, a new year.
Sometimes, we choose new.
Other times, new chooses us.
Whether we choose it or not, new beginnings can mean one of two things:
It really is all about your perspective.
Looking back on the past year, I’ve overcome a series of difficult events, each of which has made me stronger.
I (finally) faced, came to terms with & grieved my mom’s passing
(Four years later, but it’s NEVER too late to grieve & it was something that had literally been eating me up inside to the point where it manifested itself physically as all the feelings that had been repressed for so long suddenly came to the surface).
I watched my body degrade, shrink & destroy itself until all that was left was skin & bones, without the power or the control to stop the destruction.
I made one of the most difficult decisions to leave my job & commit myself to getting healthy.
Through therapy, mind work, self-improvement & hard work, I found the courage to make the conscious decision to recover from my ED & to do so in the most positive way possible.
I chose to embrace that new beginning with a sweet hello.
I started a food blog & developed a passion for cooking, baking, writing, fitness, health & wellness.
I tore down all my walls.
Exposed my vulnerabilities.
Shared my story with the world in hopes of raising awareness, helping, inspiring any & all on similar journeys & struggles.
I broke down, cried, laughed until it hurt, suffered, fought, learned & grew.
All of this was FOREIGN, SCARY & NEW to me.
It wasn’t who anorexia wanted me to be nor was it who I thought I was.
It wasn’t my “destiny” or what I had “planned” for.
While it’s human nature to be afraid of the unknown, to want to have our lives “in order”, to resort to safety nets & comfort zones & to constantly want to be aware of what the future holds…
Sometimes, we just need to find comfort in living in the NOW
In taking every moment for what it is, even if that moment means NOVELTY.
I reached a point in my journey where suddenly, I knew that it was time to start something new & to trust the magic of beginnings.
I strongly believe this realization came to me as a sign from my mom up above.
Today can be the new beginning of anything you want it to be.
But before it can be just that, you have to embrace the idea that you have a new story to write & that it looks NOTHING like your past.
You have to find the strength to acknowledge that your past is part of who you are but also the strength to leave it behind.
To be thankful for closed doors & to open the door to your bright & beautiful future.
The best time is NOW.