Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid.
Courage means you don’t let fear stop you.
It’s doing what you’re afraid to do.
It’s not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is MORE important & MORE valuable than fear.
It’s the TRIUMPH over fear.
That triumph means something different for EVERYONE.
For me, triumph meant falling.
Reaching my ultimate low.
Seeing my life flicker a little darker right before my eyes.
RECOGNIZING. REALIZING & ACKNOWLEDGING THAT.
Finding the strength to pick myself back up.
Only this time, for the first time in my life, I ACKNOWLEDGED not only that I’d reached my lowest low, but that I couldn’t reach the tip of the mountain ON MY OWN.
That I needed HELP.
Recognizing I needed help was me facing my fear of looking vulnerable, hopeless, helpless & weak.
But, ultimately, I decided that getting help, getting healthy & regaining my life was MORE IMPORTANT:
Than my pride.
Than the standard I always held myself accountable to throughout my life: The standard that I could do everything & anything on my own.
So, one day, I so desperately accepted all the help that had been offered to me for months.
I showed willingness to be afraid, BUT I ACTED ANYWAY.
I let go of what I’d always known.
I CHOSE COURAGE OVER COMFORT & let my life unfold in proportion to my courage, without being in complete control & without knowing what exactly would come of it.
I chose what I needed to do over what I forced myself to think I could do on my own.
I FELL. BUT I ROSE.
I didn’t have the strength to go on.
BUT I WENT ON ANYWAY.
I mastered fear.
I stood up. I spoke.
BUT, I also, sat down & listened.
I opened my arms & my heart & ACCEPTED THAT I WASN’T ALONE & that, THAT’S PERFECTLY OKAY & NORMAL.
Here I stand, courageous as ever.
Preaching that having courage doesn’t mean:
that you must have superpowers.
that you always need to find your way on your own.
that you are weak if you need help.
being gentle with yourself.
letting yourself feel.
acknowledging when you need to lean on another for support.
& ULTIMATELY, letting yourself triumph over all the things that scare you.
Until the day you are no longer afraid.