This photograph perfectly depicts my state of mind:
No more demons.
No more monsters.
No more voices.
No more weakness.
No more exterior forces.
No more clouds.
No more walls.
No more shame.
No more controlled thoughts.
No more obsession.
No more war.
No more confinement.
This is me.
In control of my life.
I’m my own voice.
I see the light.
My walls are broken.
I’m beaming with pride.
I’m my own force.
In control of my thoughts.
I’ve found balance.
I’m at peace.
They say that serenity isn’t freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm.
I’ve learned that life is a series of natural, spontaneous & very unexpected changes, some of which will be very stormy.
Serenity is about finding the inner strength to not resist the changes.
Resisting them creates sorrow.
Serenity is found in letting reality be reality & finding ways to accept the things we cannot change & cope with them.
Holding onto anger, sadness, frustration, shame, guilt & self-hatred is poison.
It eats you from the inside.
It ruins you.
Unfortunately, ED was something I couldn’t change.
It was one of the many curveballs life threw at me.
I caught it, held on tight for too long & letting go of it wasn’t an option.
When I realized that the act of holding onto it could cost me my life, suddenly, I found the courage to turn things around.
I yearned for the day I’d find peace with myself.
Where I’d be able to start a clean slate.
Where my mind would be clear of negative thoughts.
My heart void of terrible emotions.
My body free of my demons.
I yearned so hard until I made it REALITY.
That reality came about because in recognizing that I had to embrace the storm that was thrown at me as opposed to letting it kill me,
I FINALLY let myself embody all I yearned for (& knew I was capable of) & all that this photo encompasses.
With that, I say: Farewell demons.
THANKS for showing me just how STRONG I really am.