NEWFOUND CURVES. FEMININITY. & YOUTH.
PRE-WORKOUT BOOTY SHAKE TO CELEBRATE MY NEWFOUND CURVY FEMININE BOD: CHECK!
One thing that a lot of you have told me is that I look much younger & glowing now that I’m healthy.
At first, I didn’t see it & I wasn’t sure why.
But of course, I thought about it & I realized that recovery has not only restored the youth in me physically, but also mentally.
Physically, when I was sick, I was skin & bones.
My face was scrawny & bony.
My back was hunched because I didn’t have the strength to hold myself up.
My arms were frail & my legs were skeletal.
Every movement & step was an effort.
I was flat as a board.
No sign of femininity, WHATSOEVER. I looked like a young girl who hadn’t yet hit puberty.
Let me tell you: All of that will do a hell of a good job at aging you.
Mentally, anorexia forced me into an unhealthy, controlled, miserable state of mind.
I simply was NOT THERE.
I was lost, in my own world & found comfort in one thing & one thing ONLY: MY DEMONS.
I worshipped them.
I cried my eyes out when I let them down.
I committed to them so much that I gave them all my love.
Fast forward 7 months…
Today, my face is full & my cheeks have regained their chubbiness & rosiness.
My posture is better than ever, my back is getting stronger & I can do a lot more than just hold myself up.
My arms are getting more toned & my legs now have shape, form & can move mountains, LITERALLY.
Movements & steps are no longer an effort. They’re commonplace. I just move.
I’m curvy, I have a booty to shake & lady parts to speak for. I’m feminine. I’m a woman.
Mentally, recovery has allowed me to regain a young, healthy & happy state of mind.
I’m ALL THERE. I’m found.
I’m part of THE world & of society.
I find comfort in MANY things:
Life, laughter, love.
Exercise, food, health.
Friends, family, going out, enjoyment, staying up late.
Writing, reading, learning.
& BEING A NORMAL 26-YEAR OLD WOMAN.
I no longer worship anything or anyone.
I worship myself.
My body is my haven, but I don’t cry my eyes out if I let it or myself down, if I have a bad day, or if I don’t feel my best.
I use every setback as an opportunity for growth.
I GIVE ME ALL MY LOVE.
So thank you munchkins for opening my eyes to all of THIS.
For making me realize the importance of staying YOUNG & YOUTHFUL & HEALTHY!
For allowing me to truly see all the things anorexia took away from me, BUT ALSO ALL THE THINGS THAT RECOVERY HAS ALLOWED ME TO TAKE BACK & GAIN.
I love you all with my full, happy, beating heart & I am so thankful to be here today, hoping to continue to inspire & help you all, WHATEVER JOURNEY YOU ARE ON!