Perspective.

Perspective.

What is perspective?

Throughout recovery, I’ve come to learn that the word “perspective” really has no meaning.

Perspective is what YOU make of a given situation, challenge, task, obstacle or event.

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change naturally.

Most importantly, the right perspective makes what seems impossible, possible.

For months, I stared at myself in the mirror, in complete despair & hopelessness, latching onto my bones & wondering if at any point in time, I would find it within myself to recover & to break free from my demons.

The answer was alwaysNo, Kel, look how deep in you are, it’s impossible. You’ll never make it out of this”.

It was “no” because my perspective was flawed & negative because a voice stronger & bigger than me was controlling it.

Continuously persuading me to believe that nothing I did was ever good enough.

That there was no way out of ED & that it was my destiny.

But when I reached rock bottom & finally found the strength to take control over MY perspective from anorexia, suddenly, recovery became a possibility.

I saw a glimmer of hope.

A spark of light.

I realized that I was not destined to do & be all the things anorexia wanted.

I was destined to live a beautiful life.

One that is free of:

Counting.

Measuring.

Weighing.

Obsessing.

Checking.

Hiding.

Hibernating.

Isolating.

&

Crying.

I simply had to recognize my strength & use it as hard as I could in order to change my perspective.

You see, the thing is, two people can look at the exact same thing or situation & see something completely different.

Only we have the power to change OUR perspective.

We can either make ourselves miserable or make ourselves strong. The amount of work we put in is the same.

When I lost control over what was happening to my mind, body & ultimately, as I saw my life slowly slipping away, I challenged myself to CONTROL the way I responded to what was happening.

My response was TO CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE.

And when I did, EVERYTHING CHANGED.

I GOT MY LIFE BACK.

I regained the ability to do all the things that anorexia deprived me of:

eat.

live.

laugh.

love <3.

exercise.

communicate.

interact

& attend events.

The fire in my soul reignited.

It was always there.

I just needed to open my eyes, heart & soul & let myself find that TINY SPARK.

You know what they say, FROM A TINY SPARK, MAY BURST A MIGHTY FLAME.

So here I am, A MIGHTY FLAME.

PROUD TO SAY I FOUND THAT SPARK.

CAME OUT OF THE DARKNESS.

& STARTED A HECK OF A FIRE.

That fire? That fire is recovery.

And anorexia, you’ll NEVER burn it out.

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