If I Stop Climbing, If I Stop Pedalling, It Ends There.

I won’t lie.

I contemplated skipping my spin class tonight.

I’m just not feeling “100” these days.

But then I went.

&

I feel better, even if just a TAD.

There’s just something about that adrenaline rush, that feeling you get when the beat picks up & you’re deep into your sprint.

In that moment, you let go of all your worries.

Sadness.

Frustration.

Anger.

&

Negative thoughts.

Nothing else in the world matters, except how fast you’re going & ALL you can focus on is pushing harder & keeping those pedals going, no matter how much it hurts.

Just keep going.

I realized, as I pushed through some parts of my workout, that that’s the way I need to approach weeks like these.

Weeks where I feel like I’m about to crumble.

No matter how much I’m hurting.

How much my little heart is breaking.

&

how much I want to burst into tears.

I need to remind myself to keep on keeping on.

To keep fighting.

To keep being a freaking warrior.

To keep making this battle my B.

Because if I stop climbing, if I stop pedalling, it ends there.

I give in to hardship.

To weakness.

To pain.

To suffering.

To struggle.

I let all of that win. 

&

As weak as I feel in that moment, that’s not who I am.

I’m a fighter.

I’m strong & I will push through, until the very end.

Until the top of that mountain.

Yes, no matter how much it hurts. 

All this to say, I went to my spin class tonight.

Now that I’m done, I feel like crumbling-ish.

But I’m holding onto that beat.

Those moments.

The ones I pushed through & reminding myself that if I stop, if I let myself crumble, the fight ends here.

&

Suddenly, I’m pedalling again.