When You Realize That Time Is Life.
Today, I feel AMAZING.
Today, I look in the mirror & I embrace the curves.
Today, I look in the mirror & I smile back at myself.
Today, I look in the mirror & my perception is not flawed.
Today, I look in the mirror & I love ME.
Today, I look in the mirror & I am proud.
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
I have no idea how I’ll feel.
I have no idea if I’ll love me.
I have no idea if I’ll be discouraged.
If I’ll feel like letting go & giving up.
If I’ll feel like complete & utter cr*p!
BUT, for today, that’s irrelevant.
One of the many things that my eating disorder & my so-far journey towards recovery has taught me it’s to LIVE IN THE MOMENT & SAVOUR IT (No pun intended!).
I’ve learned not to think too far ahead.
Not to be so planned & perfect.
Not to anticipate & be scared of what tomorrow will bring.
Not to get too ahead of myself.
Not to set unrealistic standards or expectations of myself.
most of all, TO EMBRACE THE HAPPY DAYS.
TO APPRECIATE THEM.
TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THEM.
TO LIVE THEM.
IN THE NOW. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW. THIS MINUTE.
I’ve learned that if I worry too much about what the future (& by future, I mean, as early as tomorrow) will bring & how I’ll feel, I lose the opportunity & the privilege to enjoy what I am feeling RIGHT NOW.
What I am feeling right now is FULL OF JOY & LIFE.
And, when you lived (barely) in complete & utter sadness, depression & anxiety for years & you were void of all enjoyment, happiness & freedom while looking at the possibility of death in the eyes every single minute, YOU LEARN TO APPRECIATE ALL OF THIS THAT MUCH MORE.
So that’s where I am today, lovies because:
I feel great.
I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow.
BUT THAT’S OKAY.
It’s okay because I’ll face whatever I feel tomorrow when the time comes.
Time really is everything.
Time is life.
& if I focus on this time tomorrow…
Where will today’s time go?
Where will today’s life go?
& Trust me, anorexia stole & wasted enough of my time (& my life).
Now, I’m going to savour every second of it.