When You Realize That Time Is Life.

When You Realize That Time Is Life.

Today, I feel AMAZING.

Today, I look in the mirror & I embrace the curves.

Today, I look in the mirror & I smile back at myself.

Today, I look in the mirror & my perception is not flawed.

Today, I look in the mirror & I love ME.

Today, I look in the mirror & I am proud.

THE DOWNSIDE?

I have no idea what tomorrow will bring.

I have no idea how I’ll feel.

I have no idea if I’ll love me.

I have no idea if I’ll be discouraged.

If I’ll feel like letting go & giving up.

If I’ll feel like complete & utter cr*p!

BUT, for today, that’s irrelevant.

One of the many things that my eating disorder & my so-far journey towards recovery has taught me it’s to LIVE IN THE MOMENT & SAVOUR IT (No pun intended!).

I’ve learned not to think too far ahead.

Not to be so planned & perfect.

Not to anticipate & be scared of what tomorrow will bring.

Not to get too ahead of myself.

Not to set unrealistic standards or expectations of myself.

&

most of all, TO EMBRACE THE HAPPY DAYS.

TO APPRECIATE THEM.

TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THEM.

&

TO LIVE THEM.

IN THE NOW. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW. THIS MINUTE.

I’ve learned that if I worry too much about what the future (& by future, I mean, as early as tomorrow) will bring & how I’ll feel, I lose the opportunity & the privilege to enjoy what I am feeling RIGHT NOW.

&

What I am feeling right now is FULL OF JOY & LIFE.

And, when you lived (barely) in complete & utter sadness, depression & anxiety for years & you were void of all enjoyment, happiness & freedom while looking at the possibility of death in the eyes every single minute, YOU LEARN TO APPRECIATE ALL OF THIS THAT MUCH MORE.

So that’s where I am today, lovies because:

I feel great.

&

I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow.

BUT THAT’S OKAY.

It’s okay because I’ll face whatever I feel tomorrow when the time comes.

Time really is everything.

Time is life.

& if I focus on this time tomorrow…

Where will today’s time go?

Where will today’s life go?

TO WASTE!

& Trust me, anorexia stole & wasted enough of my time (& my life).

Now, I’m going to savour every second of it.

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