Learning to love my NEW body is REALLY HARD. So hard, that it makes me cry (& I’m not ashamed to admit it).
Learning to love my NEW body is hard.
Really freaking hard.
IT’S GETTING HARDER & HARDER every single day.
TBH, I wake up every morning & I want to cry.
I want to cry because my body feels different.
I want to cry because my bones are showing less & less.
I want to cry because I have to get used to a new me that is now starting to look like a woman again.
I want to cry because I feel my curves coming back.
I want to cry because I no longer look frail.
All the things I want to cry about are good things (HECK, THEY ARE AMAZING!) & they should not make me want to cry.
But the reality of anorexia recovery is that THEY DO.
And I’ve learned & come to realize that it’s okay that these things make me feel this way.
It’s okay to be vulnerable.
It’s okay to be weak.
It’s okay to be real.
And most of all, it’s okay to FEEL RAW EMOTION.
But, what matters most is that you develop this ability, strength & willpower not to let those emotions, those bad days, those days where you just want to cry for hours HINDER YOUR PROGRESS & make you feel ANY LESS WORTH IT.
That is the ultimate goal of recovery.
It’s about learning to LOVE & EMBRACE THE NEW YOU, YOUR NEW BODY & ALL IT’S PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS, even if you run into a couple forks in the road along the way.
PICK THOSE FORKS OUT.
THROW THEM OUT.
& CONTINUE DRIVING DOWN THAT ROAD.
CONTINUE YOUR JOURNEY.
THE FINISH LINE IS SO CLOSE.
YOU CAN ALMOST TASTE IT.