Kelly’s Gluten-Free, Vegan, Refined Sugar-Free Lusciously-Velvety-Smooth-&-Creamy Kidney Bean Hummus a.k.a. The-Reason-Chickpeas-Are-Like-So-Last-Year-Oh-&-That-Spread-Though!
Happy ALMOST-END-OF-THURSDAY & well, ALMOST-FRIYAY! (Woot woot! I can LEGIT smell the weekend). But, before we talk about smelling the weekend… why don’t we talk about the smell of this beautiful savoury deliciousness?!
Yes, I’m talking about the SITCH IN MY KITCH THIS MORNING… In case you missed it (SLASH, IN CASE YOU WERE SLEEPING AT PRECISELY 6:00AM WHEN THIS BABY CAME TO LIFE), need I remind you that I speak of my…
GLUTEN-FREE, REFINED SUGAR-FREE, VEGAN CLEAN-EATING AF KIDNEY BEAN HUMMUS!
I MEAN… who’s with me when I say that CHICKPEAS (or are they called garbanzo beans?! I always get so mixed up… HELP!) ARE LIKE SO LAST YEAR!
My loves, I am about to WOW & WOAH & OMFG & HOLY CRAP you! I swear. I don’t mean to brag (OKAY, maybe I do a bit…), but it seriously mind boggles me how I come up with this stuff so early in the freaking morning. BUT I MEAN… I’m not complaining. And I don’t think you will be either, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR FIRST BITE & YOU FALL IN LOVE INSTANTLY.
AND SO, without further ado, let’s discuss what’s in this baby… I mean, yes, KIDNEY BEANS. But what else? You all know it ain’t a Kelly in the Kitch recipe without SOME HELLA FLAVOUR. And so… THINK:
Organic kidney beans!
Garlic for DAYS!
Organic fair-trade tahini!
Extra-virgin olive oil!
MINCED ONION & SMOKED PAPRIKA! (I’m legit smoked-paprika-game-strong lately. I can’t seem to get enough of that specific touch it adds to like ANY & EVERY FREAKING RECIPE. Do you guys feel me? AND YES, THERE IS A TOTAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REGULAR PAPRIKA & SMOKED PAPRIKA. Call me picky, I don’t care. SMOKED PAPRIKA > PAPRIKA. Bye!)
& … NONE OTHER THAN SOME FREAKING NUTRITIONAL YEAST (or Parm or Romano, ya know, THE REAL DEAL CHEESE!).
Ladies & gents, I present you with Kelly’s Gluten-Free, Vegan, Refined Sugar-Free Lusciously-Velvety-Smooth-&-Creamy Kidney Bean Hummus a.k.a. The-Reason-Chickpeas-Are-Like-So-Last-Year-Oh-&-That-Spread-Though!
OKAY, tell me you’re not freaking out right now & BYE. PEACE OUT. SERIOUSLY.
AND WELL, if you aren’t, BUT YOU’RE STILL READING THIS POST, now that we’ve talked ingredients, why don’t we talk texture? If the ingredients weren’t enough, THE TEXTURE SURE AS EFF WILL BE. Seriously guys, this is the most lusciously-soft-velvety-smooth-&-creamy hummus that you ever did see!
I swear, I smothered her on some of those BABES, OOPS, I MEAN ALMOND FLOUR, ROSEMARY & FLAX CRACKERS I whipped up last week (RECIPE HERE) & well… if only you munchkins could see how easily & beautifully she spread… YOU’D DIE. Literally. I don’t even know how I’m still alive. I guess it’s knowing that I get to devour this baby again tomorrow that kind of keeps me going. You know… it gives me that extra push. That extra motivation… COUNTING DOWN THE HOURS ‘TILL SNACK TIME TOMORROW STAT. Call me pathetic. Whatevz.
ALL THIS TO SAY:
THE INGREDIENTS… so freaking delicious & clean…
AND THE TEXTURE… so freaking scrumptiously luscious!
MY LOVES, this stuff is so easy to make. YOU WILL THANK ME WHEN YOU HAVE A CONTAINER OF IT SITTING IN YOUR FRIDGE & you get home STARVING at the end of a long day. THIS MAKES FOR THE PERFECT SNACK. Seriously! Do yourselves a favour… TAKE OUT YOUR BLENDER & SIT & WATCH AS IT BLENDS AWAY THIS BEAUTIFULNESS!
ANYWHO, since nobody is stopping me, I think I’ll somehow whip up the willpower to shut myself up now, a.k.a. TO END THIS RANT THAT I’VE BEEN ON FOR LIKE HALF AN HOUR NOW & tell you babies how to make this babe of a hummus YOURS (I mean… technically, we have to share her. But I’m totally okay with sharing if it means I get an equal part & by equal part, I mean THE ENTIRE BATCH! Uh, I guess it’s safe to say I’m selfish AF when it comes to this hummus. Oh well! Forgive me? Please say yes.
HERE WE GO BABIES!
My loves, YOU WILL NEED:
- 1 15-oz. can of kidney beans, RINSED & DRAINED (P.S. If you don’t have kidney beans or if you prefer another type of bean or peas, you can tots substitute!);
- 1 (HEAPING!!!) tbsp. of organic fair trade tahini;
- 2 cloves of garlic, CRUSHED;
- 2 tbsp. of lemon juice;
- 3 tbsp. of extra-virgin olive oil;
- ¼ tsp. of freshly ground black pepper;
- ½ tsp. of minced onion;
- ½ tsp. of smoked paprika;
- 1 tbsp. of nutritional yeast (or Parmesan or Romano or do ½ tbsp. of nutritional yeast & ½ tbsp. of the real deal!);
- Sea salt for seasoning!
My loves, this CANNOT be easier. Seriously. All you gotta do is combine all the ingredients in your blender & BLEND THE EFF OUT OF ‘EM! (P.S. I had originally added all my ingredients to a LARGE mixing bowl thinking I was going to use my hand blender to combine all this gorgeousness. BUT THEN, I GOT LAZY & threw everything in my blender. SORRY NOT SORRY!)
P.S. You may need to adjust the texture by adding a bit of water if you find that you are (or rather, YOUR BLENDER) is having trouble blending all this yumminess! If you prefer, you can also add some more olive-oil instead of water if you don’t want to dilute any of the flavours!
AND NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO… DEVOUR!!!!
(If you do have any leftovers post-DEVOURING-SESH, store them in an airtight container & refrigerate for up to 1 WEEK (But I mean… if she lasts THAT LONG, Houston, we’ve got a SERIOUS AF PROBLEM!).
OH & FOOD PORN!!!