Okay, wow. DEEP BREATH, KEL! DEEP BREATH!
I JUST finally sat down for the first time since 8:30 this morning. I’ve been packing & moving (& RE-SETTING UP MY STOCKED-AF PANTRY – AHHHH SO EXCITED!) & literally HAVE. NOT. STOPPED. (Except to have lunch, obvs!!!). I’ve decided I need a small break before I get back into the moving sitch later on tonight & well, what better way to relax & take a break than to share this morning’s BEAUTIFUL-AF GREED GODDESS DRESSING recipe with my favourite people?! (Yes, I’m talking about you guys!!!).
I hope you all had a wonderful day! 🙂 Here to discuss this dressing with you & I don’t even know where to begin… SHE’S LITERALLY THE CREAMIEST MOST PERFECT DRESSING OF LIFE. HOWEVER, you munchkins deserve a BIT more of a description than just that. So, here I go! On a rant. As always!
I don’t know about you munchkins, but I WANT TO BE A GODDESS.
Or even better, a glowing-AF Goddess. RAWR. However, I DO NOT ALWAYS FEEL LIKE A GODDESS IN MY DAY-TO-DAY LIFE. I mean… for one, recovering from anorexia ain’t easy & I don’t always feel PRETTY.
And well, being a food blogger covered in coconut oil & who knows what else on a daily basis ISN’T EXACTLY GODDESS MATERIAL. Neither is my worn apron with oats stuck to it, MY LUNCH LADY HAIR or my flustered red face when baking in my BOILING HOT KITCH because the oven has been on for hours.
And well, sorry to BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT if you have this vision of me baking in heels. I’M SORRY, I REALLY AM. BUT NO. It’s all about them UGG SLIPPERS or those really warm & fuzzy fleece socks! Please tell me you know which ones! & Well, I AIN’T EVEN MAD BRO.
Girl in recovery + Food blogger life, FTW!
Sometimes though, FEELING LIKE A GODDESS COMES FROM WITHIN. Sometimes, a hot yoga class or a post-dinner walk make me feel like a Goddess. I mean, I went to yoga the other night & left DRIPPING IN SWEAT & BEET-RED IN THE FACE. Total Goddess, ya dig?
AND OFTEN, FOOD makes me feel like a Goddess. It’s the best. Eating an organic/natural food diet makes me feel like A GODDESS. No matter what things in my life are going on that (sometimes) make me feel the opposite of a Goddess, (for example, those days I told you munchkins about where I just wake up in the most-blah-mood ever pondering about my eating disorder and how badly my life spiralled out of control), sometimes all I need is one rockin’ recipe to get me outta bed, back in the kitch (at 5:00 AM, precisely) & to remind me that I’M KICKIN’ ANOREXIA IN THE BUTT REAL HARD!!!
ANYWHO BABIES, this IS that RECIPE & let me tell you, SHE IS A HECK OF A GODDESS. LIKE, SHE IS GODDESS GOALS.
She’s CLEAN, LEAN & HEALTHY!
Light (ish), yet smooth & creamy!
Has a great kick to her thanks to the lemon & white wine vinegar!
OH, and the fresh parsley gives her a fresh & cleansing (a.k.a. polite way to say: DETOXIFYING-AF) feel!
SHE IS EAT YO’ GREENS. ‘NUF SAID.
<3 <3 <3
P.S. The reason I said she was CLEAN-ISH is because well… once again, I did scoop some mayo into her. I HAD TO, GUYS. But once again, it’s Vegan mayo &… in order to reduce the quantity of mayo needed, I subbed ¼ cup of it for some ORGANIC GREEK YOGURT! Genius, right? I killed two birds with one stone. AGAIN.
Basically, I gave you your mayo fix (which, btw, this dressing does NEED a bit of, SO NO SKIMPING!!!), but I didn’t overdo it. And not only did I not overdo it, BUT I SUBBED HER FOR SUCH A DELISH ALTERNATIVE. I’M TALKING ABOUT THE GREEK YOGURT, BTW.
OHHH & ANOTHER AWESOME THING? (I can keep ’em coming if you munchkins want to sit here all night? Let me know!). SHE IS VERSATILE-AF!!!! Enjoy this babe smothered over salads, veggies, grains, pasta, a dip for crackers or a sauce for wraps/tortillas!
You can even change up the herbs every now & then if you want to try something a lil’ different! Sub that parsley for some basil, dill, cilantro or tarragon OR JUST THROW IN A BIT OF EACH FOR A BEAUTIFUL HERB-Y GREEN COMBINATION!
LADIES & GENTS, THIS IS Kelly’s Clean-Eating Creamylicious-Delicious Green Goddess Dressing a.k.a. The-Definition-of-Goddess-Goals-Oh-&-Kale-&-Avocado-Love-You?
OKAY, time for that nitty-gritty!!!!
My loves, YOU WILL NEED:
- 1 cup of fresh Kale, CHOPPED & LOOSELY PACKED (You can also use spinach if you prefer!)… UH, CHEATED ON SPINACH & May have even had a threesome… OH AVOCADO. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? Please, STOP! I don’t feel like talking about it. STOP, OKAY?
- 1 small sweet white onion, DICED;
- 1 avocado, CUBED;
- 1 tbsp. of fresh parsley leaves (Sub her for some cilantro, dill, basil or tarragon, if you prefer OR chop up a cray-cray herby-AF combination of all or a few of these babes for a beautifully-green-flavourful combination!)
- ¼ cup of organic white wine vinegar;
- ½ cup of organic extra-virgin olive oil;
- 3 tbsp. of freshly-squeezed lemon juice;
- ¼ cup of Vegan mayo;
- ¼ cup of 2% organic Greek yogurt;
- 1 tsp. of dried minced garlic;
- Sea salt and freshly ground pepper to taste!
All you munchkins need to do is add all these beautiful ingredients to a blender & BLEND THE EFF OUT OF ‘EM UNTIL SMOOTH!
BTW, since kale is rather coarse (unlike spinach), your blender might have a bit of a tough time choppin’ it up, like, the blade MIGHT BE HAVING A ROUGH DAY (LAWLZ, POOR BLADE!). Anywho, if that’s the case, slowly pour in some more white wine vinegar or olive oil OR A BIT OF BOTH to balance the flavour & BLEND AGAIN!
BUT, better yet, if your blender has a “CHOP” setting (I use the Breville Boss Blender & she has that setting & well, IT’S LEGIT MAGICAL), THEN YOUR LIFE IS MADE. Use that FIRST! Then, BLEND AWAY!
NOW, POUR, SMOTHER, LATHER, DIP, DEVOUR, SPOON, TOSS, THROW, SPREAD… Omg. the possibilities. THIS BABY ON EVERYTHING & ANYTHING!
OH & FOOD PORN!!
Enjoy my loves!! xoxo <3 <3