Hi my loves!
<3
So last night, I got back from my family dinner (Yes, Kelly goes out now. Kelly has a social life now. KELLY IS A SOCIAL EFFIN’ BUTTERFLY AGAIN!!) & I FELT INSPIRED, yes, AGAIN! Wow. The inspiration these past few days has been mind-blowing. But, I mean… WHY THE HECK NOT?
Given all this INSPIRATION, did you really think I’d FORGET ABOUT MOTIVATIONAL FRIDAYS? Nah. NEVER.
Anywho, at the beginning of the week, I raved & ranted to you munchkins all about my emotional progress thus far. AND NOW, I am here to rave, rant & BRAG, YES, BRAG, about my physical progress, ergo, ABOUT HOW FREAKIN’ GOOD I’M LOOKING & FEELING (& I’m not afraid to say it, heck, to scream it to the world).
Basically, I’ve ALMOST HIT 100, okay, maybe not just yet…
BUT, EVERY SINGLE DAY, I AM GETTING CLOSER & CLOSER. TBH, I don’t really know what it is about that number that has me so motivated (Not to mention, I still have ways to go once I EVEN HIT 100). But, I think it’s the mere fact of moving from the double digits into the triple ones. I mean, it really is kind of scary when THE DOUBLE DIGITS JUST DON’T MOVE.
But today, as I reflect on not only the past week, but also, on my journey towards recovery thus far:
I can say with CONFIDENCE, DETERMINATION (& YES, EVEN FREAKING HAPPINESS) that the double digits are MOVING-AF (& I’m happy dancing all kinds!).
Please do bear in mind, my loves that:
All of this progress is not to say that I don’t have bad days.
My life is not perfect. FAR FROM IT ACTUALLY.
There are days when I wake up feeling:
GROSS!
BLOATED!
DISGUSTING!
SAD!
FRUSTRATED!
CONFUSED!
WORRIED!
UNEASY!
ANXIOUS-AF!
& UNCOMFY!
AND, there are days when I see the numbers climb, but my happy dance isn’t AS HAPPY or AS JUMPY.
But, but, but (& THERE IS ALWAYS A BUT), THESE BAD DAYS I SPEAK OF, ARE A SIGN OF MY STRENGTH. SUPAWOMAN STYLE & ALL.
HOW so, you ask?
The fact that I muster up the strength, courage & FREAKING HAPPINESS to jump out of bed, even when I just want to curl back into my duvet & sleep the day off (NOT TO MENTION, THE FACT THAT I BEGIN COOKING & BAKING UP STORMS & MEAL PREPPIN’ AT 5AM WITH A HUGE EFFING SMILE ON MA FACE), speaks WONDERS about:
How committed, dedicated, motivated & challenged I am when it comes to my recovery &
How I WILL LITERALLY DO ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO MAKE RECOVERY MY B. TO TACKLE HER. TO LOOK ANOREXIA STRAIGHT IN THE EYE (ON THE GOOD & BAD DAYS, BUT ESPECIALLY ON THE BAD ONES) & TELL HER THAT:
TODAY, SHE WILL NOT WIN.
Today, I will step outta bed.
Today, I will jump for joy when the numbers climb.
Today, I will make ANOTHER INCH/OUNCE/LITRE/GALLON OF PROGRESS & you’ll be pissed, Anorexia, pissed-AF, BUT I DON’T CARE.
I mean, I don’t want to sound cocky or anything, BUT, LOOK AT ME. IN THESE PICS. HOW FREAKING AMAZING & HEALTHY DO I LOOK?
& If I look THIS amazing, you munchkins can only imagine how FREAKING AWESOME & AMAZING I FEEL INSIDE.
Full of energy.
Full of life.
Full of desire.
Full of EVERYTHING (Yes, even of myself, sometimes!!!).
ANOREXIA, I’M PROUD TO SAY THAT ANOTHER WEEK HAS GONE BY & I KILLED IT, I AM KILLING IT & MOST IMPORTANTLY, I WILL (HAVE) MADE IT MY MISSION TO CONTINUE TO KILL IT UNTIL THE PHYSICAL PROGRESS IS RIGHT WHERE IT SHOULD BE:
Chubby cheeks!!
Curves!!
A lil’ bit more meat here & there (you know, ‘dem arms, ‘dem thighs)!!
OH, & some new & improved LADY TINGS, if you catch my drift!
(TMI, sorry not sorry!)
ANYWHO LOVIES!
ALL THIS TO SAY:
The absolute MOST EFFIN’ REWARDING thing in the world is PUTTING IN TIME, EFFORT, WORK, COMMTIMENT, DEDICATION & FREAKING WILLPOWER & seeing tangible, beautiful, mind-blowing, continuous RESULTS.
That’s where I am right now babes & I WOULD NOT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.
LITERALLY.
I LOVE YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
<3
Oh & of course, it ain’t a PROGRESS POST WITHOUT ‘DEM PROGRESS PICS!
RIGHT?
