Best-Ever-Cauliflower Tabbouleh Salad a.k.a. Giving-You-Them-Mediterranean-Feels-Without-The-Grain-Oh-&-Cauli-Over-Everything!

Best-Ever-Cauliflower Tabbouleh Salad a.k.a. Giving-You-Them-Mediterranean-Feels-Without-The-Grain-Oh-&-Cauli-Over-Everything!

Hi my loves! <3

Hope you all had an OKAY Monday!!! How do we make Mondays “OKAY” though? LIKE… the weekend just ended. The weather sucks ATM. MONDAYS SUCK!!!! Anywho, let me cheer you munchkins up with a little something… TODAY’S LUNCH. OOPS, I mean TODAY’S DREAM COME TRUE.

Ladies & gents, I present you with my Best-Ever-Cauliflower Tabbouleh Salad a.k.a. Giving-You-Them-Mediterranean-Feels-Without-The-Grain-Oh-&-Cauli-Over-Everything!

My loves, it’s F-AMAZING HOW VERSATILE a veggie can be. Do you see this gorgeousness? Oh & forget how gorg she is, YOU CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE HOW DELISH SHE IS. Best way for you to find out? WHIP HER UP FOR YOURSELVES. Okay, but wait, before you do that (You don’t even know how to yet…), THINK: Cauli-rice. Really, really chopped cucumber, red onion, cherry tomatoes, bell pepper, MY PERFECTLY ROASTED EGGPLANT, mock crab & LOADS & LOADS of fresh parsley, mint & cilantro!!!

OH, & the dressing…THINK: Red wine vinegar. Olive oil. Rice vinegar. Raw organic honey. Dijon mustard. Lemon juice. GARLIC POWDER & ONION POWDER (= LOVE <3). Basically, the perfect balance between sweet & savoury, right? I KNOW. These dressings I create, WOAH!


  • Low-carb!
  • Gluten-free!
  • Quick, simple & easy to make!
  • The main ingredient: CAULI… What more can you ask for? (Once again, do not even dare ask. NO, MY CAULI OBSESSION WILL NEVER EVER EVER END)
  • PACKED with protein, fibre & nutrient-rich veggies! DID I MENTION THAT THIS BABE CONTAINS 20 GRAMS OF PROTEIN & 18 GRAMS OF FIBRE? Admit you just can’t stop LOVING me!
  • Super FILLING (Thanks to all the protein & fibre #winning) a.k.a. this babe makes for the perf lunch to keep you going all day until that mid-afternoon snack!
  • I mean… it’s TABBOULEH WITHOUT THE GRAINS. Like… isn’t that enough to qualify her as the “best’? C’mon guys… BE RATIONAL.

Let me break it down for you quickly before we get into the nitty gritty of putting this baby together. Essentially, I used my bestie, a.k.a. my FOOD PROCESSOR (which, by the way, I could not be more thankful for these days) to grind the cauliflower & turn it into RICE-ISH!!! Legit, LIKE MAGIC, PEOPLE!

ANYWHO, if I haven’t ALREADY convinced you, maybe this beautiful ingredients list will! I’M SURE AT THIS POINT YOU’RE DROOLING & you just want me to shadddddap! Right? OK, I’m getting to it. HERE GOES!!

My loves, YOU WILL NEED:

(Sidenote: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, make this baby on a LAZY DAY. There is TONS & I mean, TONS, of chopping, dicing, cubing & mincing involved!!! HEY, at least I am honest with you munchkins, right?)


  • 350g of cauliflower, PROCESSED;
  • 150g of fresh parsley, REALLY EFFING CHOPPED;
  • 160g of bell peppers, DICED;
  • 120g of red onion, DICED;
  • 160g of cherry tomatoes, DICED;
  • 200g of Kelly’s Roasted Eggplant (RECIPE HERE), CUBED; UHHHH, by the way, in case you are wondering, yes, I will be offended if you don’t use my recipe. SO USE IT. OKAY?
  • 120g of cucumber, DICED;
  • ½ cup of fresh mint, REALLY EFFING CHOPPED;
  • 200g of mock crab, CUBED;
  • 2-3 tbsp. of Parm/Romano or nutritional yeast (OR, BE LIKE ME & USE ALL OF THE ABOVE).


  • ¼ cup of organic red wine vinegar (I use Maison Orphée);
  • 2-3 tbsp. of organic extra-virgin olive oil (Also Maison Orphée);
  • 1 tbsp. of rice vinegar (I use the Natural Organic one by Nakano);
  • 1 tbsp. of raw organic honey (So, I tried out a new honey today & it was FREAKING DELICIOUS. SO RAW. SO CLEAN! You munchkins JUST HAVE TO try it. It’s called Peace River Organic Honey! It’s actually made in Canada, is COMPLETELY NON-GMO, PURE & UNPASTEURIZED!
  • ½ tbsp. of Dijon mustard;
  • A splash of lemon or lime juice;
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder;
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder;
  • ¾-1 tsp. of cumin;
  • ½ tsp. of freshly ground black pepper;
  • ¼-1/2 tsp. of organic Himalayan pink sea salt.

NOW, I don’t think whipping this baby up could be much simpler… BUT, I’ll tell you how to do it step-by-step anyways since I love y’all & since well… isn’t that the point of a blog that provides recipes? Ya… I think so! ANYWHO, I’LL SHADDUP. Here’s what you gotta do to combine all them beautiful savoury ingredients & create this bowl I like to call PERFECTION:

  • Add your cauliflower to your food processor & pulse until you obtain a rice-like texture (DON’T FORGET THAT BEFORE YOU PUT THE CAULI IN THE FOOD PROCESSOR, YOU SHOULD REMOVE AS MUCH OF THE STEMS AS POSSIBLEBe kind to your blade. Do you see what she does for you? IN CASE YOU DON’T’, SHE BASICALLY GIVES YOU A REASON TO BE LAZY AF). Once processed, add your cauli-“rice” to a large metal mixing bowl & set aside;


  • CHOP, DICE & CUBE all your veggies & the crab (I know, my loves, it’s a lot of work. BUT, you have no idea HOW WORTH IT THIS IS. Trust me, please. I love you guys, LOVE ME BACK. TRUST ME!!!).
  • Add all vegetables to the bowl of cauli-“rice… The sight… SO EFFING BEAUTIFUL. The colours. The flavours… At this point, I WAS LEGIT DYING, BUT THEN, I REMEMBERED THAT I HAD A VINAIGRETTE TO MAKE, SO I FORCED MYSELF TO STAY ALIVE;


  • Combine ALL THE BEAUTIFUL DRESSING INGREDIENTS TOGETHER & whisk all this beautifulness together until combined, a.k.a. UNTIL YOUR PERFECT VINAIGRETTE IS BORN.
  • Drizzle the Parm/Romano/nutritional yeast OR ALL OF THE ABOVE all over this beautiful-rainbow-I-cannot-wait-to-devour-the-EFF-out-of-you-bowl. ADMIT IT. Since you couldn’t choose, YOU CHOSE THEM ALL!!! #NOTJUDGINGYOU #IDIDTHESAME #GUILTYASCHARGED);
  • Pour the beautifulness that is this homemade-clean-eating-light-sweet-&-savoury vinaigrette all over your cauli-“tabbouleh” & MIXXXXXX TO COMBINE. AND JUST LIKE THAT, YOUR CAULI-TABBOULEH IS BORN. LET’S SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES YOU TO KILL HER.

Admit this one was SUPER SIMPLE, QUICK & EASY? I know… I’m freaking awesome, people. IT’S BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU GUYS, obvs.





Enjoy my loves!!! <3 <3 XOXO!

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