No-Bake Blueberry & Cashew Protein Bars a.k.a. These-Babes-Taste-Like-Dessert-&-Oops-I-Ate-The-Whole-Batch

No-Bake Blueberry & Cashew Protein Bars a.k.a. These-Babes-Taste-Like-Dessert-&-Oops-I-Ate-The-Whole-Batch

Morning lovebugs! <3 7:41am (6:39am as I was typing away REALLY EFFING LOUDLY), waddup?

In response to a recipe request from my cousin, I present you with my No-Bake Blueberry & Cashew Protein Bars a.k.a. These-Babes-Taste-Like-Dessert-&-Oops-I-Ate-The-Whole-Batch. He asked me to whip up a pre-workout snack that was gluten-free, packed with protein & contained as least sugar as possible. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Just like that, I was on a mission to make him THE PERFECT BARS.

And so, I woke up this morning (Yep, at 5:00am) & started brainstorming & just like that, moments later, this recipe came together & the shenanigans began in my kitch (Honestly, I still do not understand how I come up with these recipes but, my loves, it’s all about trial & error! You gotta start somewhere so just let yourselves get creative in the kitch & you will continuously impress yourself more & more each day! KAY, MOTIVATIONAL RANT OVER). ALL THIS TO SAY, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!

Guys… this batter has the taste (Yes, I obvi tasted it before posting it to make sure I wasn’t feeding you lovies poison & stuff) & texture of … AN ANGEL. I am not exaggerating. These babes will take you to heaven & I’m not sure if we’ll ever see each other again (I’ll miss you, bye!). Not to mention, these babes only require ONE BOWL &… GET THIS – NO FOOD PROCESSOR (a.k.a. LESS DISHES TO WASH #winning). Am I the only one who gets SO EFFING ANNOYED when I have to wash my food processor? Like this KitchenAid stuff is so huge, it hardly fits in my sink… Anywho, yep, you can thank me later for making your lives easier. I’m awesome. Basically, I think it is VERY, VERY, VERY safe (in fact, too safe) to say that, these babes are FLAWLESS. NO FLAWS.

Oh wait & did I mention that they LEGIT taste like DESSERTTTTT???!?! OKAY, well, if I didn’t; NOW YOU KNOW. They honestly make for the perfect afternoon pick-me-up & lord knows we all need it sometimes. Am I wrong? NAH! I NEVER AM!!

LET’S GET TO IT BABES. You are planning to go to the gym today, right?… UH NO. Who are we kidding? I’M SITTING ON MY COUCH ALL DAY + ROBOTICALLY PRESSING NEXT ON MY NETFLIX MENU… SCANDAL MARATHON FOR THE WIN! Ok, no but seriously, here’s what you need my loves:

  • 1 ¾ cup of coconut flour (Honestly, the second you open the bag of this wonderfulness, the smell… YOU MELT. YOU LEGITIMATELY FALL IN LOVE WITH DA COCO. DEAD.);
  • 2 tbsp. of ground flaxseed;
  • ½ cup of vanilla plant-based protein powder (I use Vega, BUT you can literally use any protein powder you want, even Whey & you can also totz. change up the flavours if you’re more of a chocolate fan… BUT, like… VANILLA IS LIFE);
  • ¼ tsp. of salt;
  • ½ cup of raw organic creamy peanut butter (If you’re not a fan of peanut butter, we’re not friends anymore &I hate you. LAWLZ, kidding. I don’t hate you, but we still aren’t friends anymore. No, but seriously, you guys can totz. sub the peanut butter for any other nut butter. Think: Almond butter, coconut butter, cashew butter, pistachio butter, HAZELNUT butter… GAH, THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS. LET YOUR MINDS RUN WILD, MES AMOURS!);
  • ¼ cup of unsweetened organic almond milk (If you guys don’t like plant-based milk or if it is simply not a concern for you, regular milk will work perfectly too!);
  • ¼ cup of organic raw blue agave syrup (NATURAL SWEETENERS FOR THE WIN!!!). If you don’t have agave, feel free to swap for pure organic maple syrup or raw honey;
  • ½ cup of blueberries;
  • ¼ cup of raw organic roasted cashews;

OK, now for the simplicity that is whipping these babes up (Don’t forget, I did tell you that you ONLY NEED one bowl & that you do not need YOUR FOOD PROCESSOR). HERE GOES, LOVIES:

  • Line a baking dish with parchment paper or plastic wrap (Choose the shape of your baking dish based on how you anticipate cutting your bars! BTW, these will always work as “protein-bites” if you prefer rolling the batter into balls, but personally, I prefer cutting them into bars!);
  • Add the coconut flour, flaxseed, protein powder & salt to a large mixing bowl & STIR AWAY!

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  • Add the peanut butter, almond milk (or regular milk), cashews & raw agave. TIME TO GET DOWN & DIRTY MY LOVES: Using your hands, stir the mixture until it is FULLY COMBINED (Don’t act all prince/princess-y. GET THOSE HANDS DIRTY);
  • Add your fresh blueberries & YES, ONCE AGAIN, GET DOWN & DIRTY. USE YOUR HANDS TO BREAK DOWN THE BERRIES into the batter until fully combined (Your dough will start to turn hues of purplish & THAT’S OKAY. IT’S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. DO NOT PANIC);
  • PRESS the mixture evenly into the baking pan until smooth! You can also press some EXTRA berries and/or cashews into the dough if you wish!;
  • Freeze the BABES for at least an hour before slicing them into 12 bars. I personally feel like once frozen, these babes will be best stored in the fridge in terms of keeping their BEST TEXTURE. But, if you do double your batch (which you SO TOTALLY SHOULD), I recommend keeping half in the fridge & half in the freezer, just because… well, 24 bars IS A LOT! But again, totz. up to you lovies!
  • DEVOUR THE BABES. GO TO THE GYM. WORK THE EFF OUT. THANK ME FOR ALL THE ENERGY THESE BABES GAVE YOU AT THE GYM. COME HOME. HAVE DINNER… & HAVE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE POST-DIN, BECAUSE LET’S BE HONEST… THEY. ARE. DESSERT & I AM AWESOME.

And NOW, DAT FOOD PORN (P.S. I’ll defs update the post with a pic of the FROZEN BARS once they are ready!!! So come back soon if you want to see the final product, a.k.a. GO MAKE YOURS & THEN COME CHECK OUT WHAT MINE LOOK LIKE… at that point, it might be too late for you to rectify your mistakes to make yours look like mine, BUT WHATEVZ!). RANT OVER. PICS NOW. *DRUMROLL PLEASE*:

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Enjoy my loves!! Xoxo! <3



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