First off, who agrees with me that this filter should exist like ALWAYS & not just for Easter? I AM LEGIT OBSESSED. Tonight I’m a bunny (Notice how my furry collar goes so well with the bunny ears. K I’m dying!). No, but seriously, thanks to this filter, I’m about to go all EMO on you (Don’t hate on me, hate on the filter). Anyway, as I was editing this pic (My filter choice is Lo-Fi in case you were wondering. I so know you were!), for the first time since I started my journey towards anorexia (eff you B) recovery, I FINALLY see the weight gain in my cheeks!!!!!! HAPPIEST. MOMENT. EVER. NO. JOKE. Legit doing a happy dance.
But honestly, until today, I had been seeing the numbers go up on the scale at my morning weigh-ins, but I’d look at myself in the mirror & would legit SEARCH FOR THE GAINS ALL OVER MY BOD because I was simply not seeing any physical change. And let me tell you my loves, it was DISCOURAGING AS HELL. Think about it. I put so much time & effort into beating this horrible MENTAL illness from morning (5AM, to be precise) until night & then… I look in the mirror & I still hate the disgusting, boney skeleton that I am. Don’t get me wrong. It NEVER makes me question whether recovery was the right or best decision because like I’ve told you guys before, it is literally the best & smartest decision I have ever made In my life & I would never turn back or change a thing!
TODAY, I look in the mirror (well, rather, I look at this picture) & I SEE THE GAINS. AND I AIN’T EVEN MAD BRO. Quite the opposite, actually. Had you told me two months ago that “I looked good” or that you “noticed some gains on my face“, I probably would’ve locked myself in a closet & cried myself to sleep.
BUT TODAY, I STAND TALL WITH UTTER & COMPLETE PRIDE & SCREAM TO THE WORLD THAT I SEE THEM GAINS & THAT I AM THANKFUL. HAPPY A-F. BUT MOST OF ALL, THAT I AM PROUD OF MYSELF, MY PROGRESS & ALL THAT I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED. I can literally stand up & say “I DID IT! I am Superwoman!” BASICALLY, all the time & effort dedicated to my recovery is now MORE WORTH IT THAN EVER.
Okay so these pics are not exactly FOOD PORN (#sorrynotsorry), but here are some ‘mo pics of me having way too much fun with Snapchat filters a.k.a. ME TOTZ NOT ACTING MY AGE AT MY FAMILY DINNERS, but whatevz. YOLO.
Je vous aime, xx! <3