Kelly’s Pesto a.k.a. You-Are-Absolutely-Positively-Gorgeously-Green-&-I-Can’t-Take-My-Eyes-Off-Of-You

Kelly’s Pesto a.k.a. You-Are-Absolutely-Positively-Gorgeously-Green-&-I-Can’t-Take-My-Eyes-Off-Of-You

Hi lovies! Good morning! 🙂 Happy Monday (Although, let’s be honest, are Mondays ever really happy?… If you ask me, NAH!).

I got a request from one of my lovely followers for a pesto dressing/sauce… & as I’ve always told you my loves, YOU ASK & I DELIVER. So this morning, at 5:30AM, I was in my kitch (OBVS.) & put my creative mind to the test… & I whipped up this baby… & I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW BEYOND IMPRESSED I AM WITH MYSELF #braggingrightsearned #noshame. No, but seriously, this pesto is LEGIT. WHY?

  • Full of greens, LITERALLY. I mean… its base is GREENS. Can you ask for anything more? She satisfies LITERALLY all my #eayogreens requirements & you know how happy I get when those requirements are satisfied, right? WELL, NOW YOU KNOW;
  • Since she’s full of all ‘dem greens, SHE IS NUTRIENT-DENSE;
  • EXTREMELY versatile (use her as a spread, dip, marinade, salad dressing, pasta sauce… GAH, the possibilities are freaking endless, man!);
  • EASY, simple & quick to whip up;
  • YUMMY A-F;
  • Thick, creamy & rich;
  • JAM-PACKED WITH PROTEIN (Thank you cashews, you, after me, of course);
  • GLUTEN-FREE (with the possibility of making her egg/nut-free, dairy-free, Paleo or vegan!!!!!):
    • To make it egg/nut-free: Use sunflower seeds;
    • To make it dairy-free, Paleo or vegan: Omit the cheese (Woah… that must be hard. That’s really sad… But I AM NOT JUDGING YOUR FOOD CHOICES. I SWEAR).
  • Absolutely-positively-gorgeously-green-can’t-take-my-eyes-off-of-you;
  • BASICALLY, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS BABY, except maybe the fact that the cashews got stuck a few times & I had to open & reopen my lender like 5 times. WHATEVZ, IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.

OKAY, “We get it… the pesto is awesome… but like, if she wants us to make it, is she going to tell us what we need already? The girl doesn’t stop rambling...”. I’m sowwy my loves, I hope you still love moi. FINE, FINE. HERE’S THE LIST

(Oh wait, ONE LAST THING: These quantities will give you about 1/2 cup of pesto. If you know what’s good for you & if you’ve learned at least ONE THING from me, be time-efficient. DOUBLE YOUR QUANTITIES. YOU WILL FALL TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH THIS PESTO & YOU WILL WANT TO SMOTHER IT ON EVERYTHING, ERGO, YOU WILL NEED IT IN LARGE BATCHES.

  • 1.5 cups of spinach or roughly chopped kale (We’ve been over this. I genuinely do not see HOW or WHY you would ever choose kale over spinach… It’s a no-brainer. Unless, of course, your kale is going bad… THEN YOU USE IT. AND YOU DON’T WASTE. OKAY? MY NO-WASTE POLICY IS IN EFFECT 24/7. DO NOT VIOLATE IT. UNDERSTOOD?
  • 1 cup of fresh basil or cilantro leaves (Are you a basil person or a cilantro person? OR ARE YOU BOTH?… *Drumroll please*. If you are both, DO 1/2 A CUP OF EACH & CALL IT A DAY MY LOVES!);
  • 1//2 cup of raw pine nuts, cashews, walnuts or other nuts of choice (I used cashews, because I have recently developed a slight…okay fine, maybe HUGE, obsession with these cute little babes, but honestly, any nut will work. SO LET YOUR MINDS RUN WILD, MY LOVES & USE WHAT YOU LOVE!);
  • 2 cloves of garlic… wait for it… CHOPPED (BUT THIS TIME, you can chop ’em roughly since they are going into your FOOD PROCESSOR anyways)!;
  • 1 tbsp. of freshly grated Parmesan cheese/non-dairy cheese/nutritional yeast… Guys, this is the part where the recipe becomes limited to vegans & Paleo-dieters, as well as those following a dairy-free regimen. BUT, THERE IS A GLIMMER OF HOPE MY LOVES. There are ALMOST ALWAYS alternatives & this babe falls right into them alternatives. Rest assured, you don’t need Parm to make this babe amazing. I promise!;
  • 1/3 to 1/2 cup of organic extra-virgin olive oil;
  • Splash of lemon or lime juice (Whatever floats your boats, mes amours!);
  • Pinch of organic Himalayan pink sea salt;
  • Pinch of freshly ground black pepper;
  • OPTIONAL: If you want to spice this babe up a bit, add 1/8 tsp. of red pepper flakes;

OK, WOAH. “That’s a lot of ingredients for “just pesto“…” UH. NO IT’S NOT. Guys, stop complaining. Do not be lazy. This is so easy… really, all this recipe asks of you is to take ingredients out of your pantry & throw them into a food processor. Since your pantries are all like uber-clean & organized (JUST KIDDING!), I don’t see how that should be a problem. BUT ANYWHO, however long it took you to take out them ingredients based on the level of cleanliness (OOOPS, I meant messiness) of your pantries, HERE IS WHAT YOU GOTTA DO WITH ‘EM TO WHIP THIS BEAUTIFULLY-GREEN PESTO UP:

  • Add the spinach, basil/cilantro, nuts, garlic, Parm/other non-dairy cheese option, salt, black pepper & red pepper flakes (USE AT YOUR OWN RISK), in a food processor or blender. Pulse until the spinach & basil/cilantro are broken down (Am I the only one who finds that “pulsing” is actually so satisfying? Like when you watch the food turn into all this beautifulness, are you not mind boggled? I AM & I AM NOT ASHAMED TO SAY IT!)
  • With the food processor running, POUR IN THE OLIVE OIL. It is super necessary that when you do this step, you keep the machine RUNNING (No, not running away from you, swear. I mean, you did listen to me when I told you to chop your garlic, right?)
    • Use 1/3 cup if you like a thicker pesto or 1/2 cup if you like a runnier pesto (Basically, if you are planning to use the pesto as more of a pasta sauce or marinade, go with the 1/3 cup, but if you are planning on using it as both a pasta sauce, marinade OR a salad dressing, go with the 1/2 cup!);
  • Once the pesto reaches your desired texture, STOP. TASTE. DIE. ADD ADDITIONAL SALT & PEPPER AND A SPLASH OF LEMON OR LIME JUICE.
  • Store this babe in a closed container in the fridge for up to one week (But let’s b e honest, my stuff never lasts that long anyways… right? Yep, that’s what I thought). SO, basically, that means you can stop at the previous step & DEVOUR. DEVOUR. DEVOUR & DEVOUR SOME ‘MO!




Enjoy my loves! <3 xx

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