Rise & shine! <3 This morning, I wake you with what is soon to become A CLASSIC for you. Lovies, I present you with my Clean-Eating Homemade Nutella Spread a.k.a. Rainbows-Sunshine-&-Unicorns-Basically-a-Chocolate-Lover’s-Dream-Come-True.
P.S. Before I go on, I HAVE A CONFESSION: This idea was born very soon after I entered recovery, because uh… the alternative was me lying in bed with a spoon & a tub of the real stuff… a.k.a. I am the Chocolate Lover referred to in this baby’s name. No shame, you?.
Guys, this recipe is, simply put, PERFECTION. The name speaks for itself – it truly does taste like rainbows, sunshine & unicorns. Okay fine, so I never ACTUALLY tasted any of those three things… but THIS BABY LEGIT MADE ME DANCE IN MY KITCH AS I SAW HER COME TOGETHER (K, NEXT TIME I’LL TAKE A VID). Not to mention, she is made with like the CLEANEST & HEALTHIEST INGREDIENTS a CHOCOLATE SPREAD THIS GOOD could ever be made with. Keep reading. It’s all about transforming them raw organic hazelnuts into THE MAGICAL NUTELLA BASE (ERGO, without the hazelnuts, your Nutella don’t exist… so please, don’t get lazy. KEEP READING, OK?).
I’m going to be very honest with you my loves, there is one REALLY ANNOYING part about this recipe, but in the end, you realize how worthwhile it is. Basically, when you buy a jar of Nutella, it’s silky, perfect & just F-amazing. All you gotta do is spread/lather/smother it all over EVERYTHING, right? (Basically, said jar gives you an excuse to BE LAZY). BUT, when it comes to homemade Nutella, there’s an extra (SUPER FUN, lol JK) step & it’s all about them hazelnut skins. What do I mean? Basically, after roasting these cute little babies, you will have to take the skins off. I will not sugar coat this (although, lez be honest, coating things in sugar often tends to make all my problems go away, you?), skinning them hazelnuts is NOT as glamorous as it sounds. All you gotta do is toss your nuts in a paper towel or dishtowel & keep rubbing UNTIL YOUR PATIENCE CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE (a.k.a. like a MINUTE LATER).
Once you make it through that part, it gets REALLY FREAKING EASY. PROMISE. Now, just throw everything into the food processor, PUT ON YOUR EAR PLUGS & find something to do for like 10 minutes… AND THEN, just like that… your food processor is filled with absolutely-positively-perfect-wonderfulness – BASICALLY, YOU HAVE A FOOD PROCESSOR FULL OF SMOOTH, CREAMY & SILKY A-F HOMEMADE NUTELLA & as you realize this, you DIE & GO TO HEAVEN SHORTLY AFTER (AND, by “shortly’, I mean like 30 seconds later cause let’s be honest… How long will you really be able to resist before spooning the Nutella for your love-at-first-bite? Will you even make it to your cutlery drawer or will you just LICK THE SPATULA? Looks like it’s the spatula’s lucky day.
OKAY, my loves, now is the time to tell you all about the clean ingredients that go into making a jar of this crack (Oops, I meant Nutella) COME TO LIFE:
- 1 ½ cups of raw organic hazelnuts (I’m COMPLETELY & UTTERLY speechless at the smell that these babes will bring to your kitch only ten minutes after being roasted… I’m sorry that I can’t describe it for you, I really truly am. It’s best if you just see for yourselves, KAY?);
- ½ cup of organic cocoa powder;
- ½ cup of unsweetened organic almond ilk;
- 1 teaspoon of organic pure vanilla extract;
- ½ cup of sugar.
Uh ya, I’M DONE! THAT’S ALL. GUYS, THIS RECIPE IS SO SIMPLE & EASY, IT’S LEGIT A JOKE. Even your kids can make it… Kay, FINE, it’s definitely not a joke because it will make all your dreams come true & that’s some pretty serious stuff, BUT, you will never believe me when I tell you how simple it is to whip up something so wonderful. LET ME EXPLAIN.
- Preheat your oven to 350F;
- Spread the hazelnuts on a baking sheet & bake these munchkins for 10 minutes;
- Once the TIMER BEEPS & ANNOYS THE EFF OUT OF YOU, remove the hazelnuts from the oven & using a paper towel or dishtowel, pull the skins off the hazelnuts (They should come off VERY EASILY… keyword: “should”). Uh CAN WE JUST DISCUSS HOW THESE HAZELNUTS ARE LIKE… THE HOTTEST THING EVER… & I’m not just talking temperature, people! No, but seriously, be careful when you’re skinning them babies. If you do it as soon as they get FRESH OUT ‘DA OVEN, make sure to try not to touch them directly (a.k.a. NO SKIN TO SKIN OR be slightly patient & wait a few minutes for them to cool off… (NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOUR KITCH SMELLS LIKE NUTELLA HEAVEN, but whatevz, at least I can say that I suggested it. KBYE);
- Transfer the skinned hazelnuts to a food processor & process these babies until you obtain a smooth, hazelnut-buttery texture (a.k.a. HEAVEN IN A FOOD PROCESSOR). You will definitely have to stop to scrape down as needed, but it should take about 10 minutes for you to achieve that buttery consistency (Basically, since you have to stop to scrape down here & there, NETFLIX MUST BE PAUSED);
- Once THAT BUTTERY consistency is obtained, add in the rest of your ingredients & process all this beautifulness until smooth, adding more or less sugar to taste (This part is totz. up to you my loves – you can even choose to add some more vanilla if you’re looking for a richer, more vanilla-y taste, as opposed to a sweeter one);
- Transfer your BEAUTIFUL-HOMEMADE-OMG-I-CANNOT-BELIEVE-YOU-ARE-MINE-NUTELLA to a jar (IF, KEYWORD BEING “IF”, IT LASTS THIS LONG, it will keep well in an airtight container in the fridge for about two weeks). But, I MORE THAN GUARANTEE that it WILL NOT, I repeat, WILL NOT last this long anyways… you’ll just find yourself making new batches every like… DAY OR SO.
Okay, so, you guys have to admit you love me like 49328402849208 X MORE for having shared this with you. Who doesn’t want a jar of clean-eating, healthy, smooth, creamy, silky, homemade-I-know-exactly-what-went-into-making-you, chocolate-y, perfectly beautiful Nutella IN THEIR FRIDGE AT ALL TIMES? If you tell me that you don’t, sorry not sorry honey, but not only can we not be friends anymore… I WON’T EVEN SAY HI TO YOU WHEN I SEE YOU, KAY? SERIOUSLY GUYS, MAKE THIS. DEVOUR IT. RAVE ABOUT IT. MAKE SOME ‘MO.
Oh right… YOU GUYS GOT USED TO THAT FOOD PORN:
P.S. These pics will make you LOSE IT, if you haven’t already… and by LOSE IT, I mean… YOU WILL LOSE YOUR MIND. L.I.T.E.R.A.L.L.Y. If you are even slightly afraid of losing your mind, do yourselves a favour and stop reading RIGHT NOW. STAT. But if not, keep scrolling… AT YOUR OWN RISK. I am not responsible for the liquid damage that all your drooling causes to your Apple products. LIABILITY DENIED. Kay, rant over (JOKES, it’s never over). K fine, PICSSSSS:
NO WORRIES MES AMOURS. 911 is on their way. I called them to take precaution… you know… I figured this pictures would give you a heart attack. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY, PROMISE. JUST HAVE A TABLESPOON… 2… 3… 4… 5…. OF THIS CRACK (OOPS, I MEANT STUFF) & ALL YOUR PROBS WILL GO AWAY. Love y’all! Xxx!