Hi! So, I shared this one on Instagram yesterday, but I figured I would share it on the blog too (Just in case I have some followers here that don’t have me on FB/Insta). OH, AND ALSO BECAUSE INSTAGRAM MADE ME CUT MY POST (I was so mad. So mad… Like, why isn’t insta designed for people who ramble like moi? We need to vent sometimes & then, when we do, insta makes us shorten the post, like…WTH). All this to say, this one is SLIGHTLY longer (You want to kill me, eh?). READ THIS BABY ANYWAYS & scroll all the way down for some evidence of how I had WAY TOO MUCH FUN with SNAPCHAT filters ON THE COUCH POST-SEDER (#actyourage). Love y’all <3 xx!
My loves! Okay, so it’s the first night of Passover, but it’s also #motivationalmondays. Did you really think I’d forget? Anywho, before you get sipping on that Matzah Ball Soup & delve deep into the Haggadah, I have some emotions to share (or rather, regurgitate) with you guys. For those of you who know me (or who have simply had me on Insta/FB for at least a year), you ALL know that I was ESSENTIALLY the Selfie Queen #noshame (Funny how one could go from being the Selfie Queen to the Salad Queen in just a few months #prioritiesincheck #goals). No, but seriously, I’m sure you have noticed that for a while, I haven’t been on top of my Selfie game, or as some would say, I haven’t been #selfiegamestrong. There’s a reason for that. People don’t just change overnight. Anorexia robbed me of every single inch of my self-worth & made me HATE myself & how I looked, not only because I would fail each time I would not succumb to anorexia’s demands and/or requests, but also because I became weak, frail, sickly & at my lowest point, a scary & heartbreaking sight not only for myself, but also for all those around me who love & care about me. And, even if I may not have showed it or said it, THAT KILLED ME, every single waking minute of every single day.
BUT, BUT, BUT (& AS YOU KNOW, with me, there is always a BUT), on this first night of Passover, I do have some positive news to share with you my loves. Tonight is a good night, because for the FIRST TIME in a VERY FREAKING LONG TIME, I finally look at myself in the mirror & I feel PRETTY. Yup, I said it. Today, Kelly feels pretty & it’s the BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD. Is it because I’ve reached my healthy goal weight, kicked anorexia in the butt 100% & fully recovered? No, unfortunately not. I still have a hell of a long way to go my loves, BUT coming from a very, very dark hole, where the light at the end of the tunnel was simply non-existent, I can now say, with complete confidence that the light is shining SO BRIGHT.
Up until today, I have managed to keep on a solid 8.5 lbs. (Yup, I’m a female & I just shared my weight on social media #goals) & for me, THAT IS A HUGE DEAL. Not only have I FINALLY managed to gain weight, but I ALSO FEEL SO MUCH better, both physically & emotionally. I actually feel the best I have in a long time. I feel: PRETTY (Yes, I said it again). Healthy. Accomplished. Motivated. Happier. Educated. Determined. Open-Minded. Free. Focused. & Driven. BUT, BEST OF ALL: I feel IN CONTROL OF NOT ONLY MY BODY, BUT ALSO OF MY MIND. So, take that Anorexia:
1) I’m going to my Seder tonight.
2) I feel pretty &
3) You no longer control my body, my mind or my soul.
TRIPLE WHAMMY. You snooze you lose. All this to say, I’M BACK ON MY SELFIE GAME. Kidding loves! But really, I’ve learned that life has a way of showing us that no matter how hard (ergo, impossible) it may seem at times, it is in fact POSSIBLE to turn things around. YOU JUST HAVE TO WANT IT REALLY FREAKING BAD.
Happy Passover babes, I LOVE YOU ALL & I couldn’t be more thankful for all the love & support you have shown me since my “coming out” about my battle with recovery. You guys are everything! Xoxo! <3
OH & HERE ARE SOME FUN SHOTS I TOOK POST-SEDER. I defs had way too much fun with Snapchat #actyourage LAWLZ:
Lawlz, I crack myself up. KBYE!