Vegan Cauliflower Mash a.k.a. Eat-As-Much-As-You-Want-Mash

Vegan Cauliflower Mash a.k.a. Eat-As-Much-As-You-Want-Mash

GUYS, cauliflower is like SO IN right now (I’m sure you could tell based on my recent obsession with it – I think I’ve tried just about every recipe in the book with this miracle of a veggie & NOT ONE HAS FAILED ME a.k.a. cauliflower is PERFECT & VERSATILE. But, get this. Not only is it perfect & versatile & super-super-supremeley yummy, but it’s also SUPER nutritious! It contains TONS of vitamins, minerals and phytonutrients that help neutralize damaging toxins in the body & may even be associated with a lower risk of some cancers. WOAH. Like, does it get any better than this?

OKAY, but now let’s get to the reason for existence of this magical recipe that is Vegan Cauliflower Mash a.k.a. Eat-As-Much-As-You-Want-Mash. UH.HOLD UP. Cauliflower + Permission to eat as much as I want???????? YOU MEAN, LOVE AT FIRST BITE? No, but seriously, I legit licked the spatula clean as soon as soon as these babies were ready.

I THINK IT’S SAFE TO SAY THAT WE ALL LOVE MASHED POTATOES… the combination of the starchy potatoes, the creamy butter, the crunchy shallots & the melted shredded cheese, ZOMFG, my mouth is watering. BUT, BUT, BUT, the thing about mashed potatoes is that they can be super HEAVY & make you feel super “BLAH, I need my fat-pants STAT”. All this to say, Cauli-Mash is THE. ULTIMATE. SOLUTION. I’ll be honest, cauls-mash is NOT by any means the equivalent of traditional mashed potatoes, BUT it will surely satisfy that I-Need-Something-Warm-&-Fluffy-&-Creamy-&-Comforting-Right-About-Now craving, all while being super yummy & delish!

If you guys aren’t convinced to whip up this fluffiness by now… well, then I don’t know what else I can say or do. In that case, just resort back to THE REAL DEAL A.K.A. MASHED POTATOES. BUT, BUT, BUT, if like me, you are TOTZ. INTO cauliflower, here’s what you need to make this wonderfulness:

  • 1 medium sized head of cauliflower, chopped into florets (Try to chop off as much of the stems as possible! Your food processor will thank you & LOVE YOU FOREVER. Those stems are tough on your food process, you know what I mean?);
  • 3-5 large roasted garlic cloves (If you’re not such a garlicky person, go for 3! Obvs, I used 5 but that’s because I LOVE GARLIC… not so much garlic breath, but whatevz);
  • 1 tsp. fresh thyme leaves (If you don’t have fresh, then dried ones will do!);
  • 1 tsp. fresh chives, chopped (Same as above, people! BUT FRESH IS ALWAYS BEST);
  • 1 tsp. of dried rosemary (MMMMM! This spice is LEGIT. always used on potatoes & we do want to make these babies taste AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE to DA REAL DEAL, RIGHT? So sprinkle that rosemary. Don’t be scared, even if you sprinkle more than a teaspoon!);
  • 1 tbsp. of unsweetened organic almond milk (I use Earth’s Own). Feel free to use any other plant-based milk or regular milk!
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast (A.K.A. VEGAN PARM. a.k.a. if you ain’t vegan, SPRINKLE DAT REAL PARM);
  • 2 tbsp. fo vegan buter (I use Earth Balance). If you aren’t vegan, regular butter will do JUST FINE, if not better!!
  • Organic pink Himalayan sea salt & ground black peppppa.

QUITE SIMPLE INGREDIENT LIST, NO? I know. So awesome. This one is such a QUICKIE (LAWLZ, I’m hilarious). BUT REALLY, can the ingredients get ANY MORE CLEAN? If you tell me yes, then I’m sorry, we cannot be friends anymore (but please, do tell me where you buy your “CLEANER” ingredients).

NOW you are obvi DYING to know how to combine all these ingredients to obtain the PERF CAULI-MASH EVER, RIGHT? Well, here goes my lovies:

  • Fill a saucepan with water & bring water a boil. Once the water is boiled, add dat CAULI;
  • Reduce the heat to a simmer & COVER YOUR SAUCEPAN, allowing the cauliflower to steam for about 6-7 minutes (USE YOUR TIMERS PEOPLE. They exist for a reason & they are literally LIFESAVERS, a.k.a. you will not forget about your cute little cauliflower florets while you are on your Netflix binge & you will be forced to get up when that timer beeps, because lez be honest, it’s probably one of THE. MOST. ANNOYING. SOUNDS. EVER;
  • Drain the steamed cauliflower & transfer the babies to the bowl of a large food processor;
  • Add the roasted garlic cloves (MMMM GARLIC BREATH), thyme, chives, rosemary, almond milk (OR OTHER MILK OF CHOICE), nutritional yeast (OR PARM), salt & peppa & PROCESS ALL TIS BEAUTY UNTIL SMOOTH (Keep a close eye on the texture!).
  • Add the vegan butter (OR REGULAR BUTTER) & pulse again until combined. At this point, your mash will be UBER-CREAMY. Is anybody complaining? NAH. Creamy = LOVE.
  • Top your cauli-mash with ground black peppppa & some mo’ fresh chopped chives (or dried ones if that’s all you got) & BOOOOOOOOOOM! THIS CREAMY DELICIOUSNESS IS READY TO BE DEVOURED & since it’s so creamy, it makes for the perfect food to LICK off the bowl, literally. So, like, admit you’re in your happy place right now. I know. I know.


kkjSee how simple & easy that was? PEOPLE, SOMETIMES (I DID SAY, SOMETIMES) THE SIMPLER THINGS IN LIFE ARE BETTER 😉 but other times, them complicated recipes take the cake. It’s all about VARIETY. K I’ll shut up now (This rambling must be getting really annoying, eh?). K GO MAKE THESE BABIES!! I want you to enjoy this creaminess as much as I did. GOSH, I’m such a fair person. Love you all, bisous!

OH AND P.S. Clearly I cannot get over my cauliflower obsession so stay tuned for more & more & more (yes, three times more) cauliflower recipes!! DEY COMING FOR YOU!

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